Today brought us yet another great example of how the celebrity gossip machine recycles its own waste. Now Magazine, a well known British tabloid had the following headline:
“Kristen Stewart and Liberty Ross’s shock summit: Kristen Stewart agrees to meet her fling’s wife
Kristen Stewart has sensationally agreed to a face to face with the wife of Rupert Sanders – the man she cheated on Robert Pattinson with.
Liberty Ross asked for a meeting to get closure.
Liberty wants to know when it started and when Rupert last tried to contact her.
‘She’s also got awkward questions about exactly what they did together because she’s still struggling to trust Rupert.’
Aside from the fact that this is an absolutely ridiculous story and its relies on the usual unnamed sources, does it ring a bell? Sound familiar? How about this story from the RadaronLine on July 27, 2012, just a week after the “so-called” cheating scandal broke.
“Kristen Stewart Cheating Scandal: Rob Pattinson Wants ‘Man To Man’ Talk With Married Director
Robert Pattinson is “curious about what really happened” and therefore wants to talk to Rupert Sanders
Rob wants to have a man to man chat with Rupert to find out exactly what happened between him and Kristen,” a source close to the Twilight star exclusively told RadarOnline.com.
Rob feels Rupert would be honest with him.
He’s not ready to talk with Kristen, it’s too painful, so he’s going to Rupert.”
Yeah right, talk with Rupert instead of Kristen. But that’s the good stuff you get when you have an “exclusive” source as opposed to a run-of-the-mill whore of source.
Aside from the fact that this again was an absolutely ridiculous story and it again relies on the usual unnamed sources, albeit an exclusive one, does it ring a bell? Sound familiar? How about this story from the Daily Mirror on July 31st, 2012, just a week after the “so-called” cheating scandal broke.
“Robert Pattinson ‘wants to meet Liberty Ross to find out truth Kristen Stewart and Rupert Sanders relationship’
Robert Pattinson is said to want to meet Sander’s wife Liberty Ross to find out if their tryst was a ‘momentary indiscretion’ or if it had gone on for months.
Robert is also said to be ‘dreading’ the upcoming promotional tour for the final film in the Twilight saga.
It is eating him up that he has no choice but to see her again because of work. His humiliation is total.'”
Wow this one must really be true, they have multiple sources including one from Perez Hilton, oh baby oh baby. But alas, none of them are “exclusive sources” so take two points away.
You see the pattern here? There is a kernel of an idea: that one of the affected parties needs to have a one-on-one confrontational meeting with one of the other parties so that they can gain information about what happened and reach metaphysical “closure” from the scandal. Embellish away, stir in a few unnamed sources and voila, one crappy false story becomes three. And then all of the other accomplices in the celebrity gossip machine pick it and report on it as well as creating their own versions and mutations. And so it spins on into the cyberspace wastebin. The sad thing is that it is stunning how many people believe this crap, if looking at the comments to them is any gauge.
So what will the next story look like? Here goes:
“KRISTEN STEWART INSISTS ON MEETING RUPERT SANDERS TO LEARN THE TRUTH ABOUT HER AFFAIR WITH HIM: Learn About the Sensational Meeting to Come and How the Sparks will Fly!
Kristen Stewart is holding out hope that she can repair her damaged relationship with Robert Pattinson, but now realizes that she can’t reach closure and move forward in that relationship until she meets with Rupert to understand the details of her affair with him.
Speaking with an exclusive, unidentified source, we have learned that Kristen wants to know when the affair started, whether Rupert made it to third base, and whether Snow White dies in the sequel to Snow White and the Huntsman. Those questions are eating her up inside our source reports.
But we have learned exclusively from yet another one of our army of sources through Kristen’s dog Bear, that Rupert and Kristen are having difficulty setting up this meeting because Kristen is always having sex with Robert and is never available. Bear also told our confidant that her carnal behavior has made him so distraught that he has taken up electronic cigarettes.
Reliable sources indicate that this has infuriated Rupert’s wife Liberty Ross, a model and actress, a model and actress, really a model and an actress, as she too is trying to gain closure and move on. A close personal friend to Liberty that loves to air her dirty laundry, has indicated that Liberty thought that she had dibs on the next meeting with Kristen, but now, hundreds of her frantic texts to Kristen remain unanswered. And she has been unable to settle this scheduling issue with Rupert despite months of heart wrenching couple’s counseling.
Meanwhile, a still distraught Robert Pattinson is noticeably absent, and refuses to either deny or confirm the story. His representatives confirm that he is off on a nicotine and crisps bender trying to nurse an aching appendage.
Where will it all end? “
Yep, that’s how the celebrity gossip machine recycles its refuse. Over and over and over again. That’s what my exclusive source has told me.
But there is still another story left here. How about the one where Kristen, Robert, Rupert, and Liberty all get together to find solace and closure. But I’ll leave it to you to get a jump and an exclusive on that one. You have seen how it’s done. Just find yourself a mythical source and make it up. That’s what they do.
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