Why anyone believes anything tabloids say about Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson is truly one of the bigger mysteries of the early part of the 21st Century.
Imagine this stranger than Hollywood kind of story. Rob & Kristen fresh off of their recent romantic reconciliation spend the weekend at the Coachella Music Festival in Indio, California to chill and enjoy the music. Standing near stage at an evening performance of Jurassic 5 on Friday night, to her horror, Kristen discovers that she is standing right next to Liberty Ross, the soon to be ex-wife-wife of the “Snow White and the Huntsman” director Rupert Sanders, with whom Stewart was caught having an affair last summer. Wracked with guilt she flees the scene visibly upset at the confrontation!
And the only way you will get to this story is to use your imagination because IT JUST PLAIN DIDN’T HAPPEN. But tell that to the tabloid press. Why should they let something like the facts get in the way of a juicy piece of BS.
So let’s just start with the facts before we move on to the BS. The facts are that on Friday night, April 12th, Rob & Kristen in the company of Katy Perry and others took in the show of Jurassic 5 at the Coachella Music Festival in Indio, and there were plenty of pictures and stories to prove it.
Meanwhile Liberty Ross attended the Diesel + Edun Studio Africa Event at the Rolling Stone Rock Room at Tally Horse Ranch in nearby La Quinta Friday night in the company with her new boytoy Jimmie Lovine. And managed to weasel her way into a photo with Bono and his wife. And here is the photo to prove it.
For those of you are geographically challenged, those places in Indio and La Quinta, although nearby each other, ARE NOT at the same place.
And finally Bono never went to Coachella because he went to Palm Springs for the Diesel +Elum event in La Quinta, to support a joint venture he has with Diesel to sell African made free trade clothing. We know he didn’t go to Coachella because he said as much in a interview on that was videotaped. That interview started with the following from Bono:
“I was reminded as we arrived here just how magnetic and magic the landscape. And it was very difficult, I’ll be honest with you, as a lead-singer type to drive by the festival – I just felt like I’d missed something very special, but I missed something very special to be a part of something extremely special.”
If you don’t believe me, watch the video at http://www.rollingstone.com/music/videos/coachella-2013-bono-talks-denim-collaboration-with-diesel-20130414#ixzz2QeuNvqHv . The something extremely special was the Diesel + Edun event. He even ended up doing some impromptu singing with a musical group while there. And rest assured, if he had gone to Coachella, I’m sure twitter and the internet would have lit up about it, which it didn’t.
So to summarize the facts, on Friday night, Kristen & Rob and friends were at Coachella watching Jurassic 5; Liberty and her boytoy were at Tally Horse Ranch with Bono, Bono’s wife and hundreds of others; and Bono didn’t go to Coachella.
Now enter the BS. Whenever BS appears, it’s not unusual to find the English tabloid The Sun somewhere around. They are that paragon of journalistic excellence that was responsible for breaking the important story and pictures last summer of Prince Harry in Las Vegas naked. Clearly Pulitzer Prize material. I guess what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas, at least when The Sun is around. Here’s how The Sun’s turd of story began:
Kristen Stewart’s tears at Coachella- Love rival at the same gig
By GORDON SMART, Showbiz Editor
Published: 16th April 2013
Standing at the front of a festival crowd is always likely to have its drawbacks, like being hit by a cup full of warm liquid making its way to the stage.
But Kristen Stewart would probably have swapped her situation for one of those missiles after she and Robert Pattinson found themselves standing next to model Liberty Ross at Jurassic 5’s Coachella gig at the weekend.
The Twilight stars were among the first to arrive at the side of the stage to watch the hip-hop group’s performance.
But Kristen was mortified when the former wife of movie director Rupert Sanders, who she had a fling with last year, turned up.
The model was at the music event with new boyfriend Jimmy Iovine and his old pal Bono from U2.
A source said: “Kristen has tried so hard to put everything from last year behind her — and she still feels incredibly guilty.
“She and Rob had turned a massive corner in recent months and they were both there to enjoy themselves.
“The last thing she wanted to do was make Liberty feel uncomfortable, either. She looked pretty upset in the backstage bar later on that evening.”
Just to up the ante, the web version of the article included an obviously photoshopped image of the supposed encounter. Note the heavy graininess of the Rob & Kristen side of the photo below and the lack of graininess on Liberty’s half. Note also how they lifted Liberty’s image out of the Tally Horse Ranch image from above. The caption is The Sun’s.
Imagine that, a tabloid involving itself in photoshopping. Now that’s really convincing stuff, isn’t it? And always the ever ready unnamed source, johnny-on-the- spot able to provide commentary on what Kristen was thinking and doing. But then again, there is that little problem. Bono said he didn’t go to Coachella because he had a more important thing to do- the Diesel + Edin event. So Liberty couldn’t have “been at “ Coachella with “Jimmy Levine and his old pal Bono”. And furthermore who is this mythical unnamed source who knows Kristen’s every thought and stalks her to the backstage bar later that night? A casual concert goer who talks of Kristen’s struggles and guilt and turning corners? A trusted friend who just decides to blab their mouth to a cheap tabloid? Or just a figment of the sick imagination of a tabloid editor spinning a sensationalized piece of garbage?
Yes, if it looks like garbage, and it smells like garbage, it most likely is garbage. Certainly no other reputable news outlets that would pick this up, would they?
Well got news for you, there are not that many reputable news outlets left particularly when we talk about celebrity gossip. Any time you can smell the BS, you can also be certain that Hollywood Life is not far away. And are good friend Bonnie (the compulsive liar) Fuller couldn’t resist sticking her foot right in it.
Her web story of April 16,Kristen Stewart: You Were Right To Avoid A Liberty Ross Coachella Run-In [dateline April 16, 2013 3:39pm EDT] began by describing how Kristen almost experienced her worst nightmare at Coachella on April 12. Fuller went on to babble on how the affair affected Liberty blah blah blah and how an “awkward encounter was barely avoided” as they came within several feet of running into one another. [Editor’s note: that several feet was closer to about 10,000 feet as the crow flies. That’s how far the Coachella Festival and the La Quita ranch are from each other].
Bonnie babbled on about how a run in was inevitable and how there were “unsubstantiated reports” following the scandal that Kristen planned to write Liberty an apology but that Bonnie didn’t think that ever happened. Note also that the unsubstantiated report of this apology letter came from none other than Hollywood Life at the time of the “so-called scandal”. Query also how Bonnie would know would whether the letter was penned or not. I am sure there is an unnamed source crawling in the slime somewhere down there at Bonnie’s feet. Bonnie concluded the tripe with some of her typical useless irrelevant-to-the-situation relationship advice.
Speaking of picking up the turd and running with it, Wetpaint.com is another tabloid website that couldn’t resist the story. Their account, Kristen Stewart “Upset” After Seeing Liberty Ross at Coachella: Report by Ryan Gajewski was a basic regurgitation of The Sun story:
Kristen and Rob were listening to hip-hop group Jurassic 5 perform on April 12 when they suddenly noticed that they were standing very close to Liberty Ross, who was there with her current boyfriend, American Idol’s Jimmy Iovine.
Kristen apparently was relieved that Liberty didn’t appear to notice that she was standing there, as Kristen “still feels incredibly guilty” about what happened between herself and Rupert.
”The last thing she wanted to do was make Liberty feel uncomfortable,” a source says about Kristen. ”[Kristen] looked pretty upset in the backstage bar later on that evening.”
Thankfully, Kristen and Rob left the area, and there was no encounter between them and Liberty.”
I guess wetpaint missed the part about Bono being there even though they were citing The Sun as their source.
Sugarscape.com also couldn’t resist sticking their foot into it either, only this time Kristen and apparently “bumped into” Liberty. Their account penned by Carl Smith, “Kristen Stewart left feeling ‘upset’ after she and Robert Pattinson bump into Liberty Ross at Coachella?
“ Just when things were looking all bright and beautiful in the world of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, it seems things have come crashing back down to reality after the pair had a majorly awkward encounter with Liberty Ross at the Coachella over the weekend. After being spotted holding hands and looking loved-up at the festival, the Twilight stars apparently bumped into Liberty of cheating scandal fame. EhhhmaGahdd.
· Yup, cast your minds back to last summer and the earth shattering that K-Stew had cheated on Rob (we can barely even bring ourselves to type this again…) with Snow White and The Huntsman director Rupert Sanders – leaving both R-Pattz and Rupert’s wife Liberty pretty pissed. And whilst all this seems like a distant memory, the sitch apparently reared its ugly head *again* on Friday.
According to reports, Rob and Krist met up with Katy Perry to watch Jurassic 5’s set on Friday. Meanwhile, Liberty was ALSO at the SAME FRICKIN’ GIG avec her new beau Jimmy Iovine. And Bono from U2. Obvs. Now as you can imag, the situation was said to be *pretty* tense, with one onlooker telling The Sun “Kristen has tried so hard to put everything from last year behind her, and she still feels incredibly guilty.”
She and Rob had turned a massive corner in recent months and they were both there to enjoy themselves. The last thing she wanted to do was make Liberty feel uncomfortable, either. She looked pretty upset in the backstage bar later on that evening.” Well this is all very unsettling, innit? Just went things were looking so good.
What do you think? Kinda wish you were a fly on the wall at that gig? Comments please.”
Well here are a few comments for you Mr. Smith. They apparently bumped into each other? Who is your source Mr. Smith? Because if you are using The Sun they didn’t talk about “bumping into” any one. At least, unlike wetpaint.com, you got Bono back in there, even though it seems Bono says he was never there. And as for your disingenuous dread of typing about the “so-called cheating scandal” and how it is all a “distant memory” your website has written literally dozens of accounts concerning Kristen and mentioning the “cheating scandal”, several as recently as in the last two months. So don’t give us your fading memory and regrets about typing. We are not buying it. And finally, imagining the “tenseness” of the situation is difficult to do when we realize that this whole story is a figment of your imagination.
Enter another journalistic paragon, mydaily.co.uk and their account, Eek! Kristen Stewart And Liberty Ross Go To Same Gig At Coachella Alert by celebrity writer Ellen Stewart on April 16.
Mega awks! Kristen Stewart , Robert Pattinson, and Liberty Ross apparently found themselves standing all in a row at the Jurassic 5 gig at Coachella over the weekend.
· The trio were said to be spotted in too-close-for-comfort proximity at the hip-hop gig, and boy oh boy don’t we wish we were a fly on someone’s straw trilby for that encounter.
· Apparently K-Stew and R-Patz rolled up early to watch the show and must have been more than mortified when the former wife of movie director Rupert Sanders, who Stewy had an affair with last year, showed her face.
· According to The Sun, a source said, “Kristen has tried so hard to put everything from last year behind her – and she still feels incredibly guilty.”
· Adding, “She and Rob had turned a massive corner in recent months and they were both there to enjoy themselves.
· “The last thing she wanted to do was make Liberty feel uncomfortable, either. She looked pretty upset in the backstage bar later on that evening.” Uh oh, do we sense a few tears before tent-bedtime?
Wow. Now they are all in a row. How did Ellen Stewart figure that one out? Maybe that fly on a wall that she stole from the Mr. Smith’s article was flying around Coachella and told her all about it.
And finally there is thestir.cafemom.com and their account, Kristen Stewart Almost Runs Into Liberty Ross at Coachella — Awkward! By Adrianna Velez.
Guess who Kristen Stewart almost ran into at Coachella? [editor’s note: please,oh please tell us, we can’t wait.]
I’ll give you a hint: She’s skinny, dark-haired, and she probably considers KStew a total homewrecker. That’s right — according to a source, Kristen Stewart and Liberty Ross nearly had a close encounter at Coachella. And apparently it rattled poor Kristen.
Can you imagine, those two running into each other? What would they even say? “Oh, hey Liberty. You’re looking great. Good thing we both ditched Rupert, right? Heh heh …” There would be so much uncomfortable discomfort and awkward awkwardness, I think Kristen would probably die of an awkward attack right then and there.
Wow, sounds like maybe even the cafemom isn’t buying it: “almost runs into”, “apparently rattled”, “can you imagine”, a Rupert joke, and “she would probably die.” But don’t get your hopes up, the article continues:
So here’s how it went down. Kristen was hanging out with Robert Pattinson (duh) and their pal Katy Perry on one end of the festival. And then Liberty was partying with new boyfriend, record producer/mogul Jimmy Iovine, and their pal Bono over at the Diesel + Edun Studio Africa Event at Tally Horse Ranch (um, what?!?). But then Liberty wandered over to the Jurassic 5 concert, which is where Kristen was. And supposedly KStew freaked out like she’d just run into her ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend at the high school prom. Quoth a source:
Kristen has tried so hard to put everything from last year behind her — and she still feels incredibly guilty. She and Rob had turned a massive corner in recent months and they were both there to enjoy themselves. The last thing she wanted to do was make Liberty feel uncomfortable, either. She looked pretty upset in the backstage bar later on that evening.
Or maybe she was just disappointed that Jurassic 5 only played songs from the new album. Anyway, now it’s time for conspiracy theory number 812: Liberty Ross hired Kristen to break up her marriage so she could date someone infinitely cooler, like Jimmy Iovine. Because look — she’s dating Jimmy Iovine now. And maybe she went to Coachella partly so she could thank Kristen in person.
Okay, that was a fun little trip to Crazyland. I mean, Jimmy is cool, but he’s also 60, and you can only be so cool at 60 without actually being a Rolling Stone. Anyhoo …
Much ado about nothing! Chances are, Kristen and Liberty are going to bump into each other again sometime in their lives. And I hope they can both keep their heads when they do. Maybe they’ll toast each other’s health and laugh it all off.
What do you think Liberty would do to Kristen if she met her in person?
“Quite frankly my dear Adrianna, I don’t give a damn.” Yours is just another of hundreds of tabloid accounts regurgitating the same old BS that started with the fictitious account at The Sun. Because that is what tabloids do best, create a BS lie and then relentlessly repeat it in an attempt to make people stupid. Which sadly you are often successful at.
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