2+2=5, WTF!

by twilighter

[We now know what one of Kristen’s tatoos looks like and that the tabloids have it all wrong As usual.  Keep Reading.]

I never was much for mathematics ever since college calculus bowled right over my head, but I always thought that 2 +2 = 4.  Then why does 2 +2  suddenly now  = 5?  Couple random thoughts from a poor mathamagician:

1.  Mid April, all seems well in Robstenland.  Yet by May 20th, it’s all gone to hell.  The Dior campaign is released on June 12th. Random or intentional?

2.  Rob takes both dogs and takes out his own garbage.  And poses for the paps.  Just like Kristen did back in April.  Imagine that.  Little did Celebuzz understand the significance of that then.

Kristen taking out the trash April 17.

Kristen taking out the trash April 17.

3.  Rob’s rep Nick Frenkel apparently leaves his good friends at GC hanging out to dry for days.  They are so late to the “breakup story” that it had mold on it before they got to it.  Is that how Nick treats his old pal Dan Abrams? I don’t think so.

4.  Kristen goes on a smiley road trip.  Becomes a Hooters Girl.  And gets a tatoo. (more on that later).  Arriving home just in time to go to the big blowout party that she doesn’t attend or isn’t invited to.  Because Rob is already sooo over her.  According to People and their  so-called paid informant. A side story they altered and tried to bury.

5.  Rob throws a big Hollywood bash complete with hookers and escorts. Because he is such a Hollywood guy.  And hangs out continually at CM.  But PopSugar, X17online, and the other tabloids miss a key opportunity.  Why is Ellen Page the only one to arrive at Rob’s house during daylight hours and is not dressed like a hooker?


6.  Kristen the cheater now becomes the sympathetic figure, the girl who lost it all yet gallantly struggles onward, while her knight in shining armor starts taking hits as he drinks himself into a stupor nightly with a different woman.

7.  Ah yes the women.  They are the staple of tabloid tripe.  First the tabloids had Rob with the Katy Perry, then Emilie deRaven (again),  then Sarah Roemer, then the mystery brunette, then the Dior blond, and now Riley Keogg, one of Kristen’s closest friends.  And they still haven’t got it right because they are being played.

 8.  And then there is that girl in a car story.
Opps.  Guess we have to make that five, since there is also the mystery brunette who is in the rear right.  Funny how the tabloids missed that, isn’t it. Hiding in plain site.
Rob 2
Should kind of remind you of this tabloid nonsense.
Romantic Dinner with Rupert

Romantic Dinner with Rupert

Oops.  Now you see Charlize, now you don’t.  Funny how this second photo didn’t appear in US Magazine’s July 26, 2012 original (or even subsequent) accounts.

No, its a caste party Charlize is between them.

No, its a cast party and Charlize is between them.  Funny how that didn’t make it into the tabloid  story.

9.  And circling around the broader story from the party are the usual suspects from the old girl in a car story.  Jarecki, Sarah Roemer, and Kevin Turen.  And throw in a dose of Emilie de Raven for good measure.
10.  And Katy Perry flies into and flies out of Rob’s love life faster than a Formula 1 car making a pit stop at LeMans.
And all this in a little more than a month.  I don’t know about you, but it sure seems like someone is spending an awful lot of time and money on selling an illusion.  And trolling across the internet stirring up the pot.  Maybe because its very well monitored and has been studied incessantly by those friends at Abrams Media. Or maybe because the celebrity gossip machine is too busy making up stories and making money off of you to bother with anything remotely like the truth.

But then again, maybe 2+2=4 after all?

Try this one on for size.  Riley Keogg at the Roosevelt Hotel pool in Los Angelas yesterday afternoon with one of Kristen’s closest friends, CJ Romero.  So much for Riley stepping in on Kristen’s guy. Do you really think CJ would look so kindly on Riley stepping out with Rob?

CJ and Riley at the Roosevelt.

CJ and Riley at the Roosevelt.

And the rings and clothes are back. With rings flying across fingers faster than you can say soul mate.


Kristen on a plane from Nashville on June 24th. Same jacket Rob wore for Cosmopolis promotion in NYC last year.

Rob in NYC in August of 2012.

Rob in NYC in August of 2012.

And Kristen’s Black Flag tatoo:  llll .   Located on her left outside wrist, just behind where the watch band would rest.

The wrist tatoo

The left wrist tatoo

What does it mean? You do the math.

llll = 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010.

And as for that infinity tatoo, I’ll let you do the math.

[Editor’s note July2, 2013 3:47 PST.] – here is an updated photo of Kristen’s two tatoos.  Not for commercial purposes, no copyright violation intended.  Purely for educational purposes.

Kristen's tatoos debut in Paris.

Kristen’s tatoos debut in Paris.

So just a little word of advise to those who ever claimed to be a fan of Rob or Kristen:

“Before you go berserk on the internet and trash one or the other of them so-calledly in name of defending one or the other of them, be aware that things are not what they might seem. The math doesn’t add up for most of what the tabloids and the celebrity gossip machine is saying.  That’s the easy part.”

Kind of reminds me of that old movie that Peter Sellers and Ringo Starr did back in the late 1960’s, The Magic Christian.  The Magic Christian is an unrelenting  satire on greed, money grubbing, and capitalism. Kind of sums up the tabloid world where truth is cheap and the profits are endless.  Towards the end of the film, Peter Sellers and Ringo fill up a huge vat with urine, blood and animal excrement and add millions of dollars to it. Attracting a crowd of onlookers by announcing ‘Free money!’, they successfully entice people to recover the cash. The sequence concludes with many members of the crowd submerging themselves in the vat in order to retrieve money that had sunk beneath the surface.

“So just because the tabloid press is willing to dive in doesn’t mean that you have to.  Save yourself a long bath.  Do the math.”

97 Responses

  1. appears Katy perry is confirming Robsten breakup in her elle uk interview.

    • As I said earlier, go to the source, not what others are reporting about the source. Elle UK hits the stands tomorrow. We’ll see then what it claims to say.

  2. gossip cop had it as real, but I agree…fair enough.

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