The Grand Punk Part 9

Sometimes when things seem too unbelievable to be true,

they are just that: not worthy of belief.

In The Grand Punk Parts 7 & 8 we examined two other classes of scenarios that attempt to explain the Kristen/Rupert “scandal”. In Part 9 we continue by examining two other scenarios falling into a final classification and stack them up against the provable evidence.

The Faux Romance and Former Romance Scenarios

Common to these scenarios is the notion that Rob and Kristen never were, or for a long time have not been, in an ongoing relationship and the Kristen/Rupert affair was staged to “break” up Rob and Kristen’s current fictional relationship to accomplish varying results. We will continue to keep numbering the scenarios sequentially.

Scenario 10: The Faux Romance

This scenario is based on the idea that Rob and Kristen’s romance was entirely faked from the beginning by Summit Entertainment and that the “affair” was manufactured to further hype Breaking Dawn II.

SUMMARY: Central to the notion of this scenario is the idea that Rob and Kristen were never more than work colleagues and friends and that Summit Entertainment fabricated a romantic relationship between them to promote and hype the Twilight franchise in order to maximize its profits. Under this scenario, the Kristen/Rupert affair was designed to “breakup” the dream couple that Summit had fabricated so that they could be “reconciled” just in time for the promotion of Breaking Dawn II. It posits that all of the make out photos and the “affair” itself were created and filmed by Summit so that it could release them to the unsuspecting celebrity gossip machine. Once the magazines ran with the story, Summit was ready with carefully crafted confessions and a pr strategy to milk the scandal for all it was worth and end it all with a grand reconciliation just in time for doing the Breaking Dawn II promotions.

This scenario sees the Rob & Kristen relationship as merely for business convenience and posits that following the end of Breaking Dawn, Rob and Kristen will “breakup” once again after promoting the film and its dvd sales blaming the affair, as their romantic relationship never existed.

STRENGTHS: This scenario squares with some of the provable facts and does explain why some of Rob & Kristen’s romantic encounters and couple-like comments over the years seem to coincide with promotional periods for films in the Twilight Saga. For example, their seeming chemistry and familiarity at the MTV Video Awards in 2008 (where some argue their couple potential first emerged) leading up to the Twilight Premier and their “chemistry at the Rome, LA, London, Paris, and Tokyo premiers; their viral “Voltarra” kiss and handholding on the Paris tarmac leading up to the New Moon premier in 2009 and their interactions at the LA, London, Madrid, Munich, and Paris premiers; their Best Kiss almost kiss leading up to the Eclipse premier in 2010 and their interactions in LA at the TwiCon convention and the film’s premier; and their viral Parity street party honeymoon scene and Kristen’s “my boyfriend is English” interview leading up to the 2011 Breaking Dawn I premier. It also potentially explains why there are so few documented romantic encounters between them during the past four years, since they were only periodically manufactured to feed the Twilight media machine. Money is also a powerful motive of behavior, and the fact that Rob and Kristen after New Moon were both getting percentages of the movies’ grosses, is a powerful financial incentive for them to be willing to do almost anything to insure the financial success of the Saga, including faking a romance, a breakup, and a reconciliation.

WEAKNESSES: First, orchestrating a faux relationship for over four years would require that Rob and Kristen either forego or hide other romantic relationships in their lives for nearly four years while both were in their teenage or young adult dating primes, a decidedly complex proposition. Yet, neither were credibly paired with any other person from the time of at least the spring of 2009. And as was noted earlier, their relationship just prior to the scandal never looked stronger.

Second, although their relationship was relatively secretive, substantial snippets did leak out and included sharing the New Year’s holidays together at the Isle of Wight (2009 & 2010), sharing significant life events together in spite of significant travel bring required (such as Kristen’s three day 12,500 mile roundtrip flight to Budapest just to visit Rob on her own birthday in 2010) and never missing a birthday together in over five years. There was also the matter of several visits to each other’s film sets such as Rob’s visits to Montreal (including on-set canoodling and an off-set make out session outside a house party that went viral) and New Orleans while Kristen was filming On the Road, and to England while she filmed Snow White and the Huntsman; and Kristen’s appearance at Rob’s premiers for Remember Me and Water for Elephants (including the limo kiss), and Kristen’s visits to the sets of Cosmopolis, Bel Ami, and Water for Elephants; and their mutual displays of affection at Cannes.

Many of these encounters and many others were only partially or surreptitiously uncovered, suggesting a couple that was desperately trying to build and maintain a relationship outside of the Hollywood eye, not flaunt it for promotional appearances. If they were engaging in a pr romance, you would have expected that the pr strategy would have had them together much sooner and much more obviously, neither of which was the case.

Third, if it was all pr, why have an affair at all and instead spin it as an ever- blooming romance which would have been just as easy if not easier to sell. Why the need for the angst? The stage had already been set during the spring and at Cannes. From a pr perspective, why break them up at all? Summit would have been just as happy with that as with the “affair” but it was clearly Rob and Kristen’s desire to punk the celebrity gossip machine which was driving the decision. An ever-blooming romance wouldn’t accomplish that result.

And finally and most importantly, the Kristen/Rupert “affair” was inartfully produced, the very content of which if carefully examined, was rife with questions about the authenticity of the affair. Since this scenario necessarily posits that their faux romance would never be disclosed (as it would show that Rob & Kristen and Summit had played their own fans), such blatant inartfullness is entirely inconsistent with the need for the Kristen/Rupert affair to appear genuine. And without the happy ending of a punk, how would Liberty and particularly Rupert both come out of this as winners? It’s hard to see what was in it for them if it would never be disclosed.

ANALYSIS & CONCLUSIONS: I have only highlighted a small portion of the overwhelming body of evidence over the last four years that shows that Rob and Kristen have been and are a couple. To parade it all here again is beyond the scope of the current inquiry and is quite frankly unproductive. Though a stubborn minority of people cling to the notion that they were never a couple, as I stated early on, most reasonable minds were satisfied by the beginning of 2012 if not earlier that Rob and Kristen were in fact a real couple and had been for a number of years and they seemed to be progressing into a more serious relationship. Even the so-called Nonstens had pretty much given up the fight. That explains why the almost universal reaction following the “scandal’s” exposure was one of shock and disbelief, not an immediate reaction that it was all for pr.

It is only as weeks began to pass after the “scandal” and events trended towards a reconciliation that the faux romance scenario began to gain traction again. It was the only explanation for some who couldn’t fathom such for Rob after such a public humiliation. Rather than a faux romance, they should have realized that the evidence suggests that rather than them never being a couple, Rob and Kristen have never been apart and it was the affair which was faux not the romance.

Despite its attractiveness to some, this scenario is not based upon the kind of evidence that a reasonably prudent person would rely on to make an important decision in their own life. It should therefore be rejected. To the contrary, the great weight of the evidence establishes that Rob and Kristen have been in a romantic relationship for some time. Taking a Bella Swan quote somewhat out of context, “That ship sailed a long time ago.”

Scenario 11: The Former Romance

This scenario differs from the previous one by conceding that Rob and Kristen were once in a romantic relationship but that it had long since run its course and the “affair” was designed to bring it to a final conclusion in anticipation of the end of the Twilight Saga. It is related to Scenario 9 but posits that the breakup occurred long ago, not recently as in that scenario. It also bears some similarity to Scenario 5 in that the affair was meant to “breakup” the Rob/Kristen relationship for the Twilight fandom, but in this one the affair was staged rather than actually engaged in as was the case in that scenario.

SUMMARY: Central to this scenario is the notion that Rob & Kristen were once a couple but had ceased to be for a significant period of time. As the end of the Twilight Saga neared, they needed to orchestrate a clean break to end the faux romance that had gone on since that breakup. To engineer this breakup they orchestrated the make out photos, released them, and Kristen “confessed” to the affair. Feigning a temporary reconciliation for the Breaking Dawn II promotions, upon their conclusion, they will once again part, blaming it on their inability to reconcile and forgive.

STRENGTHS: This scenario at least concedes the existence of Rob and Kristen being together at some point and thus avoids some of the problems associated with Scenario 10. As above, because the affair photographs were entirely staged and strategically released, many difficulties with the photographs are accounted for, such as why only a limited number were released, why they were so tame, and why the confessions were so immediately forthcoming. The staged reconciliation also provides them with some mileage in terms of the promotion of Breaking Dawn II and it also gets them to a place at the end where they can be viewed most sympathetically: as a young couple who, despite their best efforts, were unable to overcome the challenges of life in the fishbowl with too much fame, too much pressure, too much attention, and no peace.

WEAKNESSES: But it still suffers from some of the earlier described weaknesses associated with Scenario 10 and doesn’t adequately explain when their so-called breakup occurred. Some might argue that the actual breakup occurred back during either the Sarah Roemer debacle or during Rob’s rumored relationship with Catlin Cronenberg while filming Cosmopolis in Toronto or Kristen’s rumored hookup with Garrett Hegland during the filming of On the Road. But none of these rumored Rob or Kristen relationships have ever been substantiated with credible, provable evidence and thus cannot form the basis of credible evidence that Rob and Kristen were broken up because of them. And again, to the contrary, the provable evidence suggests that their relationship was and is on- going. This is a highly complex scenario that involves many players and as such bears significant risks of being discovered.

ANALYSIS & CONCLUSIONS: Similar to the previous scenario, the need for a breakup at all is likewise dubious. If Rob and Kristen’s relationship had ceased to be viable why not just let them quietly separate and “drift” apart following the end of the Saga. Why the need for a grand breakup (the affair) and the grief associated with it, followed by a reconciliation and another eventual breakup.

Because it depends upon the central notion that Rob and Kristen were already no longer a couple, which is highly speculative, it is not based on the kind of evidence which a reasonably prudent person would rely on to make an important decision in their own life. That being said, it does match up with a significant portion of the rest of the evidence in this incident and cannot thus be entirely discounted as a possible explanation of this incident.

Of these two scenarios, only scenario 11 has some traction although it suffers from a key defect noted above. Scenario 10 should be rejected outright.

The Grand Punk does the best job of all in terms of squaring with the provable evidence.

Given these conclusions, where should we go from here?

Based on a careful review of all eleven scenarios in Parts 7, 8, and 9, the Grand Punk does the best job of all in terms of squaring with the provable evidence. Scenario 11 also remains as a viable option but suffers from an obvious defect. As this inquiry continues, I intend to take further steps to punch holes in or validate these scenarios and I urge you all to do the same.

I believe that the following would also further the search for the truth:

First, ignore the meaningless distractions. Like the tabloids endless nameless sources and their ridiculous stories. Stories about no sex pacts, moving vans (Haven’t you learned anything by now?), and unsubstantiated claims. It’s all nonsense and distracts you from what you should be paying attention to.

Second, tune out the nonsense on the comments threads. Reading endless rants about people insulting Rob, Kristen, Liberty, and Rupert and each other and considering endless claims of insider information from faceless sources will not advance the state of knowledge about what is happening and has happened in this incident one iota. So just give it up and let it go.

Third, and finally, pay attention to the details. It is in the details that the flaws of some of these scenarios lie. And in the details where the truth exists.

And I for one am going to take a weird journey. More on that in Part 10 of the Grand Punk.

As always, thanks for reading and please, keep using your brain!



46 Responses

  1. Great posts once again. But please note that the public apology that Kristen released to People magazine is a FAKE. It’s been mentioned that a writer at People has admitted that the statement was not made by Kristen or her PR staff. The statement came from an unnamed source. The same unnamed sources you in your post have told us to ignore.
    The writer at people admitted this in a tweet that the apology was in her own words “bullshit”. The tweet has since been deleted. It however can still be seen at DesdeNuestrosOjos twitter account. Please verify because important fact has been disregarded.


  2. Good coverage. Unfortunately it is over the heads of most of the fans causing the trouble and making threats. Here’s one thing I did with it: The Rashomon Effect:

  3. Is your weird journey going to be “just a weird trip”?

  4. What do you believe Twilighter?

  5. Personally I believe Kristen’s apology was from her. But that is just my speculation. She may have said it unofficially to someone and it got printed. she may have not wanted to retract it even when advised to disown it. But People has no certifiable authority to cite their using it. They have admitted it came from a “source”. So when you use “source” cheaply, when you use it authentically, it is meaningless. “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” is the reason. People has made their bed and now they are lying in it. When you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.

  6. And yes twilighted57 I see we are on the same wavelength. Dead or Alive Extreme 2; Halo. Liberty wearing Rob’s T shirt the way Kristen wears Rob’s T’s. Are we still on the same wavelength?

    • In the picture you are referring to, Liberty Ross wears Rob’s “Join a Weird Trip” shirt and a necklace similar to the one Rob gave Kristen for her birthday, perhaps giving the impression the four of them are in on all of this? I don’t think they are.

      • I don’t either but the t-shirt was a weird coincidence.

      • There are no weird coincidences in any of this. As Nicky Parsons once said of the Jason Bourne in Bourne 2, [they] don’t do random”.

  7. Actually the ambiguity of did she or didn’t she is much much better.

  8. No no coincidences. Especially when it comes to clothes Liberty Ross is always communicating with what she puts on her back and boobs. She did not wear either a generic to Kristen’s white T or Rob’s weird T without much thought about it. Kristen wears Rob’s clothes. Liberty wears “Rob’s clothes”. Get it.

  9. It implies that perhaps she is regarding Kristen as a younger self, a double, another Liberty as in Dead or Alive. And yes it implies much much more. Do we really want to go there?

  10. Liberty in Join A Weird Trip shirt at Mail Online:

    A picture where you might see the necklace a little better:

    I don’t know what she’s holding in her hand.

    • Thank you. IMO necklace is not similar–and re: t shirt–Lib has some kind of association with Balenciaga. I believe–as well as fashion, of course, in general. What could she be saying with the T if there is a message??? Hell I don’t know, but let’s see stand by and observe– the Sanders spot in the limelight starting to fade a bit now with BD2 and the “new and improved” Robsten capturing the public’s imagination.

      • A close up of the necklace reveals it is the same type (not the exact one) Kristen wears: a flying dove (Holy Spirit) with orange background:

        Rob wore the ‘Join a Weird Trip’ shirt for a magazine layout.

        If it was just the same shirt that Rob wore, since she supposedly works for Balenciaga (and so does Kristen), I’d think, “Ok, maybe not a coincidence”. But wearing the necklace at the same time, along with jean shorts and sneaker-like heels makes it a slam dunk.

  11. My problem with this comment is that for its information it links to a gossip site that feeds and fuels this media manufactured scandal. So it reinforces the same old crap to make a point. But what’s the point? that Liberty buys at Balenciaga and dresses like Stewart. Yes she does, sort of, but Kristen doesn’t wear $250 T’s to run around in, does she? Yes the look is the same, but it is achieved differently.

    Liberty is fucking with you. This lady is a seasoned gamer.

    • Ooooh, Mr. S., you’re just too cooool for schooool!

      Actually, all I meant was that Liberty is wearing clothing/jewelery/shoes Rob and Kristen wear now or have worn in the past, attempting to make us think “This Was A Joke” and planned by the four of them.

    • coolspotters is dedicated to celebrity fashion and not celebrity gossip. But they do post paparazzi photos frequently in order to identify the clothes. But I totally get your larger point!!

  12. I threw you a clue. Catch it! Liberty’s a gamer.

  13. Oh she’s communicating with her costumes all right. But dig some more into her. Robin is digging. Go to her archives.

    • No, Liberty isn’t playing with me, she’s entertaining me. They all are. No reason to get upset.

      • I might agree with you about the entertaining bit but not after I saw Rob when he first appeared for Cronenberg’s Cosmopolis promotion. He looked awful and his eyes were dead. At TIFF Kristen trembled and her face was contorted into a mask of brave smiling and she was horribly thin. This is not entertainment. And to have photoshopped pictures in US Weekly to suggest something that never happened is not amusing entertainment if you are the person getting trashed by it. I would agree if they had appeared perfectly normal for them. But they didn’t. And I have been reading movies for a very long time. It teaches you haw to view life.

        But you are right on. I am absolutely contentious.

  14. What did I say to give you the idea I was upset?

    • Wrong word. You’re not upset. You’re contentious.

    • My point is that Liberty Ross has picked up on poster comments. There is the belief of some that R&K, R&L are four ‘pals’ in on this together to ‘punk’ the media in a mutually beneficial manner. By wearing the shirt and necklace, she may be trying to push that idea onto people, thereby hiding the true intentions of all of this nonsense.

      • How do we actually know that necklace is a gift from Pattinson, that it has a special inscription on it, etc.? Is there a basis for this idea, or is it just another thing the tabloids made up and have been passing around for ages? If the necklace is being seen as a sort of message, it matters.

  15. All I know is that while Kristen Stewart is a big girl and responsible for her actions–Rupert Sanders owes her a big fat apology–and I do hope he gave her one. And I hope he feels guilty. (NOT placing ALL blame on him)

  16. It’s very credible. I ‘m not gonna lie, it is credible.

  17. IDK and it appeared after one of her birthdays and she wears it all the time even when it doesn’t “go” with what she is wearing. And she doesn’t often take it off. Inscription? Ask one of the robsessed ladies.

  18. You don’t know that they ever did. And maybe IF they did it was about SWATH 2. Are you assuming the faked pictures are not fake and that he kissed her in front of papz?

  19. Kristen herself said she found the necklace on her pillow one morning, and yes, it’s a birthday gift. She didn’t say who sent her this gift.
    Check the interview here

    • weird because KiKi Dunst has the same necklace so some of us thought it was a gift for the girls for being in “On The Road”

    • yeah, I don’t know who “else” would be putting a necklace on her pillow on her birthday. But it is weird that Kirsten Dunst has the same necklace.

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