Sometimes when things seem too unbelievable to be true,
they are just that: not worthy of belief.
In The Grand Punk Parts 7 & 8 we examined two other classes of scenarios that attempt to explain the Kristen/Rupert “scandal”. In Part 9 we continue by examining two other scenarios falling into a final classification and stack them up against the provable evidence.
The Faux Romance and Former Romance Scenarios
Common to these scenarios is the notion that Rob and Kristen never were, or for a long time have not been, in an ongoing relationship and the Kristen/Rupert affair was staged to “break” up Rob and Kristen’s current fictional relationship to accomplish varying results. We will continue to keep numbering the scenarios sequentially.
Scenario 10: The Faux Romance
This scenario is based on the idea that Rob and Kristen’s romance was entirely faked from the beginning by Summit Entertainment and that the “affair” was manufactured to further hype Breaking Dawn II.
SUMMARY: Central to the notion of this scenario is the idea that Rob and Kristen were never more than work colleagues and friends and that Summit Entertainment fabricated a romantic relationship between them to promote and hype the Twilight franchise in order to maximize its profits. Under this scenario, the Kristen/Rupert affair was designed to “breakup” the dream couple that Summit had fabricated so that they could be “reconciled” just in time for the promotion of Breaking Dawn II. It posits that all of the make out photos and the “affair” itself were created and filmed by Summit so that it could release them to the unsuspecting celebrity gossip machine. Once the magazines ran with the story, Summit was ready with carefully crafted confessions and a pr strategy to milk the scandal for all it was worth and end it all with a grand reconciliation just in time for doing the Breaking Dawn II promotions.
This scenario sees the Rob & Kristen relationship as merely for business convenience and posits that following the end of Breaking Dawn, Rob and Kristen will “breakup” once again after promoting the film and its dvd sales blaming the affair, as their romantic relationship never existed.
STRENGTHS: This scenario squares with some of the provable facts and does explain why some of Rob & Kristen’s romantic encounters and couple-like comments over the years seem to coincide with promotional periods for films in the Twilight Saga. For example, their seeming chemistry and familiarity at the MTV Video Awards in 2008 (where some argue their couple potential first emerged) leading up to the Twilight Premier and their “chemistry at the Rome, LA, London, Paris, and Tokyo premiers; their viral “Voltarra” kiss and handholding on the Paris tarmac leading up to the New Moon premier in 2009 and their interactions at the LA, London, Madrid, Munich, and Paris premiers; their Best Kiss almost kiss leading up to the Eclipse premier in 2010 and their interactions in LA at the TwiCon convention and the film’s premier; and their viral Parity street party honeymoon scene and Kristen’s “my boyfriend is English” interview leading up to the 2011 Breaking Dawn I premier. It also potentially explains why there are so few documented romantic encounters between them during the past four years, since they were only periodically manufactured to feed the Twilight media machine. Money is also a powerful motive of behavior, and the fact that Rob and Kristen after New Moon were both getting percentages of the movies’ grosses, is a powerful financial incentive for them to be willing to do almost anything to insure the financial success of the Saga, including faking a romance, a breakup, and a reconciliation.
WEAKNESSES: First, orchestrating a faux relationship for over four years would require that Rob and Kristen either forego or hide other romantic relationships in their lives for nearly four years while both were in their teenage or young adult dating primes, a decidedly complex proposition. Yet, neither were credibly paired with any other person from the time of at least the spring of 2009. And as was noted earlier, their relationship just prior to the scandal never looked stronger.
Second, although their relationship was relatively secretive, substantial snippets did leak out and included sharing the New Year’s holidays together at the Isle of Wight (2009 & 2010), sharing significant life events together in spite of significant travel bring required (such as Kristen’s three day 12,500 mile roundtrip flight to Budapest just to visit Rob on her own birthday in 2010) and never missing a birthday together in over five years. There was also the matter of several visits to each other’s film sets such as Rob’s visits to Montreal (including on-set canoodling and an off-set make out session outside a house party that went viral) and New Orleans while Kristen was filming On the Road, and to England while she filmed Snow White and the Huntsman; and Kristen’s appearance at Rob’s premiers for Remember Me and Water for Elephants (including the limo kiss), and Kristen’s visits to the sets of Cosmopolis, Bel Ami, and Water for Elephants; and their mutual displays of affection at Cannes.
Many of these encounters and many others were only partially or surreptitiously uncovered, suggesting a couple that was desperately trying to build and maintain a relationship outside of the Hollywood eye, not flaunt it for promotional appearances. If they were engaging in a pr romance, you would have expected that the pr strategy would have had them together much sooner and much more obviously, neither of which was the case.
Third, if it was all pr, why have an affair at all and instead spin it as an ever- blooming romance which would have been just as easy if not easier to sell. Why the need for the angst? The stage had already been set during the spring and at Cannes. From a pr perspective, why break them up at all? Summit would have been just as happy with that as with the “affair” but it was clearly Rob and Kristen’s desire to punk the celebrity gossip machine which was driving the decision. An ever-blooming romance wouldn’t accomplish that result.
And finally and most importantly, the Kristen/Rupert “affair” was inartfully produced, the very content of which if carefully examined, was rife with questions about the authenticity of the affair. Since this scenario necessarily posits that their faux romance would never be disclosed (as it would show that Rob & Kristen and Summit had played their own fans), such blatant inartfullness is entirely inconsistent with the need for the Kristen/Rupert affair to appear genuine. And without the happy ending of a punk, how would Liberty and particularly Rupert both come out of this as winners? It’s hard to see what was in it for them if it would never be disclosed.
ANALYSIS & CONCLUSIONS: I have only highlighted a small portion of the overwhelming body of evidence over the last four years that shows that Rob and Kristen have been and are a couple. To parade it all here again is beyond the scope of the current inquiry and is quite frankly unproductive. Though a stubborn minority of people cling to the notion that they were never a couple, as I stated early on, most reasonable minds were satisfied by the beginning of 2012 if not earlier that Rob and Kristen were in fact a real couple and had been for a number of years and they seemed to be progressing into a more serious relationship. Even the so-called Nonstens had pretty much given up the fight. That explains why the almost universal reaction following the “scandal’s” exposure was one of shock and disbelief, not an immediate reaction that it was all for pr.
It is only as weeks began to pass after the “scandal” and events trended towards a reconciliation that the faux romance scenario began to gain traction again. It was the only explanation for some who couldn’t fathom such for Rob after such a public humiliation. Rather than a faux romance, they should have realized that the evidence suggests that rather than them never being a couple, Rob and Kristen have never been apart and it was the affair which was faux not the romance.
Despite its attractiveness to some, this scenario is not based upon the kind of evidence that a reasonably prudent person would rely on to make an important decision in their own life. It should therefore be rejected. To the contrary, the great weight of the evidence establishes that Rob and Kristen have been in a romantic relationship for some time. Taking a Bella Swan quote somewhat out of context, “That ship sailed a long time ago.”
Scenario 11: The Former Romance
This scenario differs from the previous one by conceding that Rob and Kristen were once in a romantic relationship but that it had long since run its course and the “affair” was designed to bring it to a final conclusion in anticipation of the end of the Twilight Saga. It is related to Scenario 9 but posits that the breakup occurred long ago, not recently as in that scenario. It also bears some similarity to Scenario 5 in that the affair was meant to “breakup” the Rob/Kristen relationship for the Twilight fandom, but in this one the affair was staged rather than actually engaged in as was the case in that scenario.
SUMMARY: Central to this scenario is the notion that Rob & Kristen were once a couple but had ceased to be for a significant period of time. As the end of the Twilight Saga neared, they needed to orchestrate a clean break to end the faux romance that had gone on since that breakup. To engineer this breakup they orchestrated the make out photos, released them, and Kristen “confessed” to the affair. Feigning a temporary reconciliation for the Breaking Dawn II promotions, upon their conclusion, they will once again part, blaming it on their inability to reconcile and forgive.
STRENGTHS: This scenario at least concedes the existence of Rob and Kristen being together at some point and thus avoids some of the problems associated with Scenario 10. As above, because the affair photographs were entirely staged and strategically released, many difficulties with the photographs are accounted for, such as why only a limited number were released, why they were so tame, and why the confessions were so immediately forthcoming. The staged reconciliation also provides them with some mileage in terms of the promotion of Breaking Dawn II and it also gets them to a place at the end where they can be viewed most sympathetically: as a young couple who, despite their best efforts, were unable to overcome the challenges of life in the fishbowl with too much fame, too much pressure, too much attention, and no peace.
WEAKNESSES: But it still suffers from some of the earlier described weaknesses associated with Scenario 10 and doesn’t adequately explain when their so-called breakup occurred. Some might argue that the actual breakup occurred back during either the Sarah Roemer debacle or during Rob’s rumored relationship with Catlin Cronenberg while filming Cosmopolis in Toronto or Kristen’s rumored hookup with Garrett Hegland during the filming of On the Road. But none of these rumored Rob or Kristen relationships have ever been substantiated with credible, provable evidence and thus cannot form the basis of credible evidence that Rob and Kristen were broken up because of them. And again, to the contrary, the provable evidence suggests that their relationship was and is on- going. This is a highly complex scenario that involves many players and as such bears significant risks of being discovered.
ANALYSIS & CONCLUSIONS: Similar to the previous scenario, the need for a breakup at all is likewise dubious. If Rob and Kristen’s relationship had ceased to be viable why not just let them quietly separate and “drift” apart following the end of the Saga. Why the need for a grand breakup (the affair) and the grief associated with it, followed by a reconciliation and another eventual breakup.
Because it depends upon the central notion that Rob and Kristen were already no longer a couple, which is highly speculative, it is not based on the kind of evidence which a reasonably prudent person would rely on to make an important decision in their own life. That being said, it does match up with a significant portion of the rest of the evidence in this incident and cannot thus be entirely discounted as a possible explanation of this incident.
Of these two scenarios, only scenario 11 has some traction although it suffers from a key defect noted above. Scenario 10 should be rejected outright.
The Grand Punk does the best job of all in terms of squaring with the provable evidence.
Given these conclusions, where should we go from here?
Based on a careful review of all eleven scenarios in Parts 7, 8, and 9, the Grand Punk does the best job of all in terms of squaring with the provable evidence. Scenario 11 also remains as a viable option but suffers from an obvious defect. As this inquiry continues, I intend to take further steps to punch holes in or validate these scenarios and I urge you all to do the same.
I believe that the following would also further the search for the truth:
First, ignore the meaningless distractions. Like the tabloids endless nameless sources and their ridiculous stories. Stories about no sex pacts, moving vans (Haven’t you learned anything by now?), and unsubstantiated claims. It’s all nonsense and distracts you from what you should be paying attention to.
Second, tune out the nonsense on the comments threads. Reading endless rants about people insulting Rob, Kristen, Liberty, and Rupert and each other and considering endless claims of insider information from faceless sources will not advance the state of knowledge about what is happening and has happened in this incident one iota. So just give it up and let it go.
Third, and finally, pay attention to the details. It is in the details that the flaws of some of these scenarios lie. And in the details where the truth exists.
And I for one am going to take a weird journey. More on that in Part 10 of the Grand Punk.
As always, thanks for reading and please, keep using your brain!