The Grand Punk Part 5

The Grand Punk Part 5

 “Sometimes when things seem too unbelievable to be true, they are just that: not worthy of belief. I think this whole “scandal” was dreamed up and brilliantly executed by Rob, Kristen, and Rupert and that the celebrity gossip machine is about to get punked bigtime. It’s a big payback for all the crap Rob and Kristen have had to put up with for years. And I think there is also something even more significant behind it. “

Part 5

Despite the rash of stories and rumors that have flooded the internet for the last three weeks, what we know about this incident since after the night of July 22nd at the TCA’s is surprisingly little and is a lot easier to describe than you may think.

Here goes:

1. Neither Rob nor Kristen, has ever been seen or directly heard from since the night of the TCA’s on July 22nd until Rob’s appearance in NYC on August 13th to promote Cosmopolis.

2. After the “scandal” broke on July 23-24th, Liberty Ross was only eventually seen out without her wedding ring on August 6 and has been seen out a couple times since.

3. Later still, on August 7th, Liberty and Rupert were seen out together for the first time.  And that’s it. I’m not going to go through the hundreds of ridiculous stories that have exploded across the internet since as they are examples of what the celebrity gossip machine does best, MAKE UP STORIES. Stories of moving vans and dog custody fights; debates over Rob being a man whore, a bisexual, at the ranch, or drunk dialing Kristen; stories of Kristen’s not bathing, crying her eyes out, partying with Lindsey Lohan, and having had affairs with everyone of her past costars. All of it is nonsense, and most importantly, none of it is verifiable save for the unidentified “sources”.

GC has done a good job of cataloging a lot of this other nonsense as nonsense, but they too can’t resist the irresistible “sources” either, and that has led them astray as well. But I will go through a couple claims that GC claims as truth, just to show you that we can confirm even less than what even they claim is true. Here is what GC adds (in arguable increasing order of importance):

1. That Kristen was asked to move out of Los Feliz.

2. That following the “scandal” Rob may have momentarily stayed at Reece’s ranch but was gone by the time the story broke.

3. That Kristen has dropped out of Cali.

4. That Rupert is now focusing all his attention on repairing his marriage to Liberty Ross, and it’s been a “very difficult” time for them.

5. That despite Kristen’s public apology and first time open declaration of love for Rob, Rob was “blindsided”, is still very “upset” by her cheating, and is not prepared to discuss the matter at all with her. Although perhaps more recently, they are at least talking.

6. That while Kristen & Rupert definitely fooled around, they did not have sex.

7. That Kristen and Rupert’s hookups occurred in the last few weeks — not during the filming of Snow White and the Huntsman.

8. That Kristen and Rupert admitted the “scandal” and apologized to their significant others via statements to People Magazine.

Let’s take a look at the first four first. If you look at each story carefully even within GC, they are equivocal and/or are always relying on the unnamed “sources” for their reliability. Who asked Kristen to move and when. Was it Rob himself or his close friend Sam Bradley or Marcus Foster. Rob may have stayed at Reece’s or did he stay longer? Confirmed by whom or what? As for Cali, Kristen quit, yet no confirmation from her people and no announcement yet (of what) from Voltage Films? And yet, GC makes that a 10 undoubtedly based on their “sources”. As for Rupert’s focus, according to whom, confirmed by what?

Then the next four, who says Rob is not talking to her? And how does anyone “confirm” that Rupert and Kristen did not have sex and that the whole affair happened in the last few weeks? Because someone said so? At best, GC is relating what others supposedly said. Yet other say that they did, and others say that they didn’t, but at the end of the day it’s all idle speculation. GP is no more knowledgeable than the rest of them but for their so-called “sources” And why should we believe them at all? Because GC says their sources are impeccable?

And what about #8. That is the one that really holds this whole “scandal” scenario together, even if it defies reason. And uniquely, it’s the one thing that was theoretically under Kristen’s control.

Let’s examine the admissions:

Well first of all, neither Kristen nor Rupert have admitted anything themselves. Neither have called a press conference and spoken directly to the media or the public. And perhaps never will. Their “confessions” come in the form of “statements” released purportedly by their representatives to People Magazine. What we call in the law, multiple hearsay. Magazine says that Kristen’s representative said that Kristen said. Ditto Rupert.

Second, the statements themselves are lacking in any detail and as many have noted, are actually quite bizarre. Take Kristen’s for instance. If believed, she in it for the first time clearly and unequivocally professes her love for Rob as she apologizes in a very public manner for taking part in a momentary indiscretion. Why the need for a public apology at all? And don’t tell me it’s because Rob was refusing to take her calls. There are plenty of channels and people through which she could have reached out to him other than broadcasting it to People Magazine. Why make matters worse and embarrass him in the public eye? In a very public manner, all for a momentary indiscretion. And who’s to say they made them as truthful statements even if they said them?

Third, fact is people falsely confess to wrongdoing more often than you might believe. That’s why investigators corroborate details of a confession to make sure that it reliable, is un-coerced, is accurate, and not made by someone who is mentally ill, drugged, seeking notoriety, or acting out of a motivation other than providing the truth. I’ve seen it happen involving suspects even in murder cases.

Fourth, and once again because these are only “released” statements, we are unable to see the confessor’s demeanor, or subject them to questioning, or to cross examination, let alone assessing the credibility of those passing on the information.

Yet, if you have believed this and everything else that has been feed to you about this cheating “scandal”, Kristen must be about the most cruel and vicious girlfriend of all times.

1. She wears one of Rob’s favorite hats to her tryst and goes out of her way to make sure you see it multiple times.

2. She wears Rob’s sweatpants and uses them to let Rupert dryhump her from the rear in broad daylight in a public place in front of the paparazzi that she obviously knows are there. And laughs and smiles about it for the cameras. After virtually never allowing photographers to so much as see her kissing Rob for over four years.

3. Shortly after her cheating she enjoys a night out with Rob at a Bobby Long concert where she flirts with him and plays the part of the loving girlfriend.

4. She continues the charade at the TCA’s and elsewhere as though the indiscretion never happened.

5. And professes her love for him to the world for the first time as she confesses she cheated with another man, embarrassing him further.

Based on everything that you know, does she hate him so much that it is worth it to destroy her own career to deliver that message? Based on what, according to whom, and confirmed by what unnamed source?

If it looks like a duck, and walks like a fish, and quacks like a pig, then it probably is just that: a bunch of nonsense unworthy of belief.

There is little doubt that the “overlook” photos were staged and filmed at 7267 PACIFIC VIEW DRIVE in Los Angeles sometime around midday, not at some secluded overlook. Google Earth it, look NW up the Drive. I didn’t say the photos themselves are fake, I said they were staged. There is a difference. And if you still have a doubt, why has Kristen’s eye shadow gone through an amazing touchup in US Magazines’s two money shots (PopSugar #5 and #16) after a daylong tryst and yet she isn’t made up that way in many others that are taken at the same place?

I can’t say the same about the car makeout photos. They could have been filmed anywhere. But they also bear features (the disappearing photographers) that I cannot say with confidence that some of them have not been altered.

Much has been written on this blog claiming that there was nothing to gain by any of the parties to fake this incident and punk everyone. But just for the sake of argument let’s assume Rob, Kristen, Rupert, and Liberty agreed to stage this incident and create a punk of the celebrity gossip machine. What would they have to gain? And would it be a career ending prank as many have argued?

Get real. A successfully executed punk would propel their collective careers, not end them. Let’s count the reasons why:

1. Notoriety
Rob and Kristen’s career arcs were already stratospheric, particularly with some age cohorts, but I think it’s hard to argue that their notoriety would not be even more broad following this manufactured “scandal” . A quick scan of the posters on this blog suggests that there are many who are very familiar with this story now even though they were not otherwise fans of Twilight before or followed any of their careers. If this ends with a happily ever after, that notoriety is even more assured.

Rupert Sanders and his wife Liberty were far less known, she a former Vogue model and he the director of a reasonably successful reboot of a popular fairytale. Prior to this incident, far more people were familiar with the movie because of the involvement of Kristen, Charlize Theron, and Chris Hemsworth, not them. If this was all staged and Rupert and Liberty played a key role in it, they each become part of a Hollywood legend. You think that would hurt their careers?

2. Sweet Revenge
Both Rob and Kristen have been hounded by the paparazzi, and the celebrity gossip machine, and the ever present bloggers of gossip websites ever since their involvement in Twilight. They have both been accused of being gay, being drug abusers, being married, being engaged, and being pregnant multiple times; being involved in a faux romance to bilk even more money out of the unsuspecting fans; and being talentless actors. If this all turns out to be staged and a hoax, every person who believed it has to admit Kristen is a pretty good actress. And certainly a lot smarter and more cunning than they are. And every person who uttered an unkind comment about either of them would have to reflect on what compelled them to do so.
For years Kristen has been accused of being talentless, one expression, one-dimensional actress by some although she is roundly praised by those who have worked with her. This is mostly because she had the audacity to get involved in a relationship with Rob. Considering how many people have been driven to calling her a skank, a whore, and home wrecker because she convinced them that this scandal actually happened, it would be a lot harder for them to ever argue that again. Maybe not a great actress, but certainly good enough to make fools of them.

3. Publicity
There is little question that this incident has thrust all four of them into the public eye far beyond where each of them had been. They say that there is no such thing as bad publicity and for people who work in the entertainment business, publicity is everything. Currently for Kristen and Rupert, the publicity is negative, as they are there as the hated, the cheaters. For Liberty and Rob, they have the more desirable roles as the sympathetic victims, the unjustly wronged. But if they spring the trap and tell the world it was all staged, the story has a happy ending and all four of them come out as winners. To be followed by an endless series of further articles as to how it was pulled off, further propelling the notoriety and publicity about them.

4. Privacy
With the trap effectively accomplished, I can’t help but feel that the celebrity gossip machine would have to back off, if only for a while, and if only by a notch or two. But you got to believe that they might not want to mess with Ms. Stewart and Mr. Pattinson for awhile. Especially regarding some claimed impropriety. It may afford Rob and Kristen a little more personal space that they desperately crave.

5. Financial Success
Do you think for one moment that if this was staged and has a happy ending, that BD2 would not be even more wildly successful than ever, perhaps even the most successful of all. After all, it would the last of the series, and would be the first where everyone going in would know that Rob and Kristen were really together both on and off the screen. Twitards would be more enthralled than ever as “the dream lives on” even stronger than before. Others who maybe have never been familiar with the saga prior to this incident would be drawn to see it because of it.

The reason most people do not appreciate the benefits of a well executed punk is because they are looking at the situation as it appears currently. But if Rob Kristen Rupert and Liberty spring the trap and collectively yell you’ve been punked, this is not a career ending prank, but rather a boon to their careers. I think it is conceivable to doubt the prank, but it’s hard to argue against these benefits if in fact one is occurring.

But they can only let this run so long. It’s hard to comprehend this “scandal” is only three weeks old.

But I think there a couple good reasons to suspect that we may very close to the end.

First, this prank was launched with perfect timing during the Olympics when 20,000 journalists were distracted by the going ons there. The Olympics are over and their collective attention have the potential to drill holes into this “scandal”.

Second, Rob and Kristen have used the periods to go underground for over three weeks (since July 22) perhaps the longest time without a sighting for each of them. Whatever they were up to, they have had plenty of time to enjoy.

Third, it can’t go on forever and eventually Kristen will have to venture back onto the streets. Quite frankly, it’s not safe for her to be out there in this atmosphere with the number of crazies there are and the venom they are spouting.

Fourth,  Rupert and Liberty can only afford to go along with it for so long.

Fifth, and finally, the longer they wait, the harder it is to keep it under wraps.

Rob arguably passed on his first opportunity to pull the punk on Jon Stewart’s Show. His failure to do so only further heightened the speculation that he and Kristen are history, reinforcing the punk. But he’ll have another opportunity on the Today Show on Wednesday with its wide audience. And perhaps, his best opportunity comes when he sits with MTV’s Josh Horowitz on Thursday. Over the years, no one has been more respectful and closer to the Twilight trio than Josh. And MTV’s Twilight Tuesday was instrumental in making Twilight what it became.

If Rob clears all of these opportunities without fessing up, then it will time to re-examine what that means. Until then, let the speculation continue. I’m sure they will be arguing through the night why Rob appears tanned and rested after the trauma and indignities he has suffered.


10 Responses

  1. “If Rob clears all of these opportunities without fessing up, then it will time to re-examine what that means”.

    So neither Rob nor Kristen has come clean about this “scandal”. Do you still believe in the grand punk theory? Or maybe a cheating scandal is a cheating scandal.

    One avenue you haven’t explored is the “scandal” was setup to play hardball with Summit. It appears that a lot of OTR promotion was happening around the same time as BD2 promotion duties and maybe Summit wasn’t going to let KS go to TIFF (which conflict with MTV) etc. So they staged this to punk Summit and gave they offered Summit a reconciliation or breakup scenario depending on whether they would let Kristen promote OTR. A little far-fetch but as with all these hypothesis there are major holes i.e. why the Sanders would go along etc…

    • We should always be prepared to reexamine our thinking based upon new developments. But what is more clear than ever is that all of the critical evidence of this “cheating scandal” has been digitally manipulated. And not very well at that. Its hard to have a “cheating scandal” without the “cheating”. But surprising that is exactly what this tabloid nonsense has given us. More to follow in Part 11.

      • I have more questions, I know you are shocked. I was re reading the punks to see if you addressed any and this one does. If we go along with the staged by all 4 punk, you said after 3 weeks since the scandal that it would come to an end soon for several reasons involving all 4. well its 11/29 and still no “we got you”. I dont think or at least hope that who ever was the mastermind that they didnt plan on the horrible treatment of K, death threats, hate, etc etc. The horrible hounding of the papz since they have been out of hiding. The LAX scene this week was horrible and uncalled for. But why havent they put an end to it? With all the hate they could have stopped it months ago and the name calling also. Why keep it going? LAX wouldnt have happened if they had all come clean. The longer this goes on it could do career damage to K and or R, couldnt it? And the longer they wait wont it be more ingrained in peoples minds? Harder to forget? Several months ago if it had come out it would have been Ha Ha jokes on the media or whoever. Now, with 4 months of so much hate, on K really only, R’s fans hating on K’s fans, hating on both groups by the people who have never thought they were together. Families being brought into it by the crazy fans, speculating about his family hating her,his friends hating her. R being linked to any girl he stands next to, looks at, talks with. It seems the tabs and tabs websites have made a fortune off them, I cant think R&K wanted for them to get richer off them. They have already had articles about BenA. and Jen G. having trouble and that K will try to seduce Ben. Fans have been tweeting Ben and Jen supposibly to warn them of what K will do. This could have all been avoided if they would have ended it after a month or so. So have you re-examined what it means since no one came forward? I suppose you will talk about it in part 11. All of this is one big reason why I find it hard to believe that they would continue to take this abuse when they could have ended it a long time ago.

  2. Last week in LAX, Rob and Kristen were mobbed by paps. They were even rude enough to ask Rob if Kristen will cheat on him again. What was shocking for me was Rob’s reply. He said ‘do you think Kristen is a great actress?’, something like that. Then I was like, is he referring to Kristen’s acting in Breaking Dawn or in the scandal?

    • Is this what he said to one of the papz? It does look like he says something to one of them! Where did you read or hear this?? What do you think he ment? Interesting! Trying to figure what he ment

  3. If you carefully listen to the sound on that video it seems that the voice is actually the paparazzi’s. Doesn’t sound English or Rob like. In context it sounds like the pap is razing Rob trying to get a reaction and he gets this look him like continue and your going to get hit. So he changes tack and asks him about her acting skill. Later, once he is in the car, the pap starts again on the cheating. At least that what I’m hearing. But I could be convinced otherwise if someone you want to chime in.

    If your right, however, its a game changer.

  4. I see the public apology as the central factor in figuring out anything about this entire matter. I’ve organized and set out what I see as the possible explanations below.
    I hope you don’t mind my using your method (summary, strengths, weaknesses) or my leaving such an extremely lengthy post. I’m just trying to work this out in my own mind.

    We start with two main categories of possibility: that Stewart actually issued the public apology, and that she did not.

    Let’s start with the idea that she actually made the apology.

    The theory: One day after the release of photos of her with Sanders, Stewart issued an apology, presumably through a representative, to People Magazine. People Magazine knew or assumed it was genuine, and published it as such.


    Summary: Everything happened more or less as presented in the media. Stewart really did meet with Sanders and made out with him, at least on that one occasion. Once pictures of their encounter were published, she issued a formal apology, possibly for PR purposes or as a message to Pattinson, as some suspect; possibly for no more complex reason than that she felt badly for “all the people this has affected” and wanted to say so.

    Principal strengths:
    – It’s the simplest explanation, at least at first glance
    -Coincides with most media reports
    – Requires no conspiracy theory or other complicated explanation
    – Best of all, it would explain why Stewart did not disclaim the apology

    Principal weaknesses:
    – The photos themselves are suspicious. (See The Grand Punk, Parts 1-10) If the photos were fake, and the dalliance with Sanders didn’t occur, there is no reason for the apology.
    – The public PDA is highly suspicious and uncharacteristic. Stewart must have realized she could not make out with a man in public in broad daylight without being seen and, probably, photographed. She managed to keep an ongoing relationship almost completely hidden from the press for years; such a mistake on her part requires a lot of explanation.
    – The unprecedented public acknowledgement of Stewart’s relationship with Pattinson is, likewise, peculiar and uncharacteristic
    – The need for a public apology is unclear, benefits unlikely
    – The immediacy of the apology is odd; as is the release of Sanders’ apology at virtually the same time
    – People Magazine does not indicate the apology comes from a legitimate Stewart representative, only repeats that “Kristen Stewart issued an apology”. They give no further information about the apology’s source or how it was transmitted, although presumably they would have taken any opportunity to establish that the apology was genuine.
    – People and US Weekly apparently received exclusive rights to BD2 special editions soon after this
    – The “momentary indiscretion” part of the apology is inconsistent with the tabloid story

    Summary: This is a variation of Possibility (A).
    Stewart met with Sanders on the day in question, and became involved in some activity she regrets – not everything described in the tabloid story, but something. Paparazzi take photos of the encounter, but pad the minimal scandal story and photos with extra, faked pictures, or manipulate existing pictures to appear more “scandalous” than they are; then embroider the description of the event and release the scandal story. Stewart, disdaining to pick through what she did and did not do, takes responsibility for her part in the event, however minor, and maintains silence thereafter.

    Principal Strengths:
    – Resolves some of the issues with the suspicious pictures
    – Would explain the “momentary indiscretion” remark
    – Resolves the oddly public nature of the PDA, since it was brief and unplanned

    Principal Weaknesses:
    – The public apology and declaration of love still seems out of character and inconsistent with Stewart’s previous approach to the media
    – The need for an apology in this scenario is even less clear
    – The silence of friends, family ad colleagues is a little odd, if they knew Stewart to be accused unfairly

    Summary: After the pictures are released, Stewart’s agent, publicist, people from Summit, and/or others professionally involved in Stewart’s career, meet with her and advise her to issue a public apology for PR purposes. Stewart may have given in to pressure from people who seem to “know best how to handle this” even if she would not have given a public apology on her own. They may even have written the apology for her.

    Principal Strengths:
    – It seems plausible that agents or studio people would think of damage control first; they might believe a hasty apology would make Stewart come across more sympathetically

    Principal Weaknesses:
    – The apology had a negative rather than positive affect, confirming what was at first seen as an unlikely tabloid story. Professional PR people should have known better, arguably
    – This scenario assumes that either Stewart’s reps knew or believed the scandal to be true (further assuming Stewart admitted such to them), which discounts the suspicious nature of the whole scandal story and the pictures; or else that they recommended an apology for a story they knew to be false
    – Stewart’s compliance, given her past approach to the media, is problematic
    (For an alternate view of this scenario, see possibility (E), below)

    (D) The Grand Punk
    Summary: Stewart released a public apology willingly, as part of a deliberate prank on the media which she was involved with from the beginning. She helped stage the photos as well. (See The Grand Punk, Part 6, for a full description)

    Part Two: The theory that Stewart did NOT issue the public apology.

    Summary: One or more of Stewart’s reps or professional associates decide an apology is essential to managing her PR in the wake of the scandal. Stewart will not agree. The reps therefore release an apology to People on their own, in her name. Stewart is aware of what they have done but makes no public disclaimer.

    Principal Strengths:
    – Would explain why People accepts the statements as coming from Stewart: they are from individuals normally authorized to speak to the media on her behalf
    – Could (maybe) explain why Stewart never disclaimed the apology, if we assume she did not want to “out” her colleagues or get them in trouble
    – Would resolve the uncharacteristic public declaration

    Principal Weaknesses:
    – Stewart did not object to or disclaim the apology; there is no record of her firing her manager or publicist after the apology was issued
    – The need for or benefits of an apology still questionable
    – There is no sign of an future PR “spin” or image management by any of Stewart’s reps after the apology – just silence from all concerned

    (F) “SOURCES”
    Summary: People received the apology story not from Stewart or her representative, but second hand from an unnamed source

    Principal Strengths:
    – Most gossip stories, even the most unlikely or later disproven, attributed to an unofficial source. It would be the usual approach.
    – Would explain why People never cites Stewart’s official reps as the source of the apology
    – Would explain the otherwise baffling public statement
    – Could occur even if the scandal is completely bogus: gossip “sources” are notoriously unreliable and liable to say almost anything
    – The “source” may have presented himself as a credible spokesman or witness – or so People could claim if necessary.

    Primary Weaknesses:
    – People Magazine would lose credibility if such a significant statement is shown to be false. People has a slightly better reputation than most gossip magazines. Would People have taken the risk?
    – People would also risk a lawsuit if they issued a false statement of this importance. Yet they did not cover themselves by claiming a source; they stated that the apology came from Kristen Stewart. Why not adopt the usual claim of a “source,” as with most gossip articles?

    Summary: People Magazine made it up, simple as that. They saw a chance for an amazing scoop and took it. (Arguably, this is not much different from publishing the story based on a probably made up or completely unreliable “source”)

    Principal Strengths:
    – Resolves most other inconsistencies
    – Could occur even if photos and story are bogus

    Principal Weaknesses:
    – People Magazine’s comparative respectibility ?
    – Again, Stewart said nothing to disclaim the apology

    Summary: The apology was issued by an unknown person or persons, who masterminded the entire scandal, the fake photos, etc., and used the apology to confirm the reality of the scandal story.
    If Stewart was not in on the “punk,” the scandal may have been perpetrated on her by others. Possible suspects have been suggested: Rupert Sanders, Liberty Ross, or both together; paparazzi or celebrity photo agencies, for money or revenge or both; or unknown persons.
    The Third Person who manufactured the scandal would establish the truth of their story by releasing apparent confirmation from Stewart herself. Third Person may have convinced People Magazine of the validity of Stewart’s statement of apology.

    Principal Strengths:
    – Resolves the issue of suspicious photos and scandal story
    – Resolves the issue of Stewart’s oddly indiscreet public behaviour
    – Resolves any peculiarities about the apology itself

    Principal Weaknesses:
    – Unclear why Stewart would not disclaim both the photos and the apology
    – Also unclear why Rupert Sanders would not disclaim his apology, unless he was behind the falsified scandal… but in that case, his silence makes him look guilty
    – Motive is unclear, unless done by paparazzi or photo agency for money. In that case, the risk of being sued would be a concern; and Sanders’ silence needs to be explained.
    – The complete media silence of not only Stewart, but everyone close to her is hard to explain under this theory, although not completely unlikely.

    Are there any other possible theories I’ve overlooked?

    • Now I see that one reputable source, the London Telegraph, reported that Kristen Stewart issued her apology “via her publicist.” The only time I’ve heard it specifically stated.

  5. I look at all of the work that you people have put in to this and I think
    only her family could love her more, I so want you guys to be able to prove this, Maybe then the tabs couldn’t just accept a roll of film from the paparazzi and run with it to the presses without any provenance,
    If film is come by honestly, no matter how disreputable it may be I guess I can live with that. But to use film they know by pixelation or whatever other means has been tampered with is wrong It makes me worry what lies could be told and even proven about myself and my family. I wish she could get an injunction against them or something.
    I hate seeing another human being be treated so maliciously,

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