Be Calm and Carry On

by Twilighter

I thought I would briefly followup on the excellent posts by  Veulentsavoir and Misty earlier today and try to put the developments of the last  ten days in perspective.  To say that there has been a media frenzy is an understatement of major proportions.  And to some extent I have intentionally reserved comment until some of the nonsense burns itself out.

But make no mistake, it is by and large nonsense.   For despite endless articles and heaps of speculation, tweets run amouk, and tabloids on steroids, the celebrity gossip machine is no closer to being a source for the truth about Rob & Kristen than they were ten days ago.  And if anything, they have once again proven themselves to be utterly incapable of telling the truth about them.  That is simply not profitable.

It started with a blatant lie, the Rupert as a Valet story.  It continued with a dubious account of a so-called telephone argument and a fantasy breakup that had more causes than the reasons for global warming (Rob’s trust issues, Rupert’s discovered text to Kristen, Kristen’s clinginess, Rob’s philandering in NYC with Polly Stedham, Kristen’s demands for marriage and a baby, Rob’s “thing” for Katy Perry) , blah, blah, blah.  It has finally started to burn itself out with supposed fresh accounts of returns to work, new romances, and declarations of happiness in freedom.  Yeah right.  The frenzy is finally starting to calm down.

I leave you with this thought:

Lies, injustice,  and deception have always thrived in chaos.  But it is in quiet, thoughtful contemplation where the truth and justice prevails.  And it is always faster and much easier to light the inferno than it is to extinguish it and fully understand its causes.

The essential framework of what we know and what we don’t know about the so-called Kristen Stewart “cheating scandal” remains unchanged.  If anything, the events of the last ten days makes it even less based in reality than ever before.

So as the Brits once said in contemplation of a mass bombing at the inception of World War 2: Be Calm and Carry On.  That’s what I intend to do.  We have plenty of time to take apart the nonsense that has run amouk. And we will continue together to unravel the travesty that unfolds before us anew every day.

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Oh the Rob & Kristen BS Just Keeps Coming and Coming Part 3

by twilighter

    “So mark my words.  And don’t be surprised the next time you see Kristen coming out of Los Feliz 1 on Aberdeen.  And don’t be surprised when she is behind the wheel of the Mini Cooper again.”

I managed to take a cell-phone free, non-internet access, extended Memorial Day weekend away and I have to admit it felt good.  Kind of like that special feeling you get when you know that no matter how many people are out there worrying about what you are doing, where you are doing it, and whom you are doing it with, they really don’t have a frickin clue.  When you are so under the radar(online), that nary a paparazzi, or a tabloid, or a gossiping neighbor  has a clue as to what is really going on. Ah …, it must be a really good feeling, one that Rob & Kristen enjoy virtually every day.

But, the world marches on, and I eventually had to come back from the wilderness to the unreality of all that is going on in the so-called Kristen Stewart “cheating scandal”, and its latest twist, the Rob and Kristen Breakup, Part  ___ (fill in the blank with a number from 10-100 here). And no breakup story is complete without dozens of BS tabloids stories to tell the tale.  As in fairy tales, a type of short story that typically features folkloric fantasy characters such as fairies, goblins, elves, trolls, dwarves, giants, mermaids, or gnomes, and usually magic or enchantments.  A story as in fiction, not to be confused with reality.

As I have said many times before, never have two people been subjected to more continuous false reporting, false tweeting, and general BS than these two. So lets take a look at the highlights of the BS since I slipped out of town such a short time ago.  There isn’t enough time in this life to review all of it.

Let’s start with the “Rob Dumped Kristen and Moved Out of Her House” story, although there is an alternative version of this fairy tale that is called the  “Kristen Dumped Rob and Kicked Him Out of Her House” story.  Why did this happen?  If you read any number of  tabloids you could variously believe that it happened because: 1). Rob ditched out on his own birthday party, pissing Kristen off; 2). Rob miraculously and conveniently discovered a text from Rupert on Kristen’s cellphone while she was in the shower, pissing him off;  3). Rob couldn’t get over the fabricated “cheating scandal, something he has tried to do for almost ten months with Job-like patience; 4). Rob stepped out with Katy Perry, an unknown blond, or an unknown female to be named later, pissing Kristen off; 5). Kristen stepped out in a lesbian relationship with Tamra Natasin, pissing Rob off; or 6). Kristen was just too clingy, pissing Rob off. Blah, blah, blah.  All based on unnamed, unidentified sources.  Including even a fresh account from People Magazine based on two contradictory tweets that was printed, pulled, and replaced with yet another story claiming so-called sources who as usual remain unnamed. ( the  Rob & Katy Perry at the San Ysidro Ranch wedding rehearsal story).

Where do all these stories have their roots?  Yes, the Xonline17 story of April 23rd.  You remember that one don’t you?. The one where Rupert Sanders suddenly takes a job as a valet at a restaurant in LA.  Followed by the Rob Moves Out of/Is Kicked Out of Kristen’s house story.  The 65 Million Man Moving All of His Worldly Belongings in a Pickup Truck tale.  As is evidenced by him driving in a truck with some stuff in the back, including both of the dogs and both of their bikes. Going into his house on Aberdeen in Los Feliz.  Oh yeah, that’s the place that all the tabloids assured us he was selling back in August of 2012.  Funny how that never seemed to happen isn’t it?

And remember, don’t let the tabloid crap slide, this was the house he couldn’t stand to stay in because all of the “bad memories” associated with it.  And yet here he is again.  Isn’t that amazing. So much for the tabloid tripe. I don’t want to rub it in any one’s face but I blogged nearly nine  months ago that he wasn’t selling the house, and when I was in LA in September, the house looked very much occupied down to the garbage being taken out and the paper being delivered.

I have already emasculated some of this garbage in a prior post, The Pattinson/Stewart Breakup: Three Important Details at http://wp.me/p2JqVX-zJ located elsewhere on this site. But now let’s look at this weekend’s garbage.  Here are my two personal favorites.

Story #1

Moving Truck at Los Feliz 2

Moving Truck at Los Feliz 2

This one is too good to be true, combining all of our personal favorites: staring unnamed, unidentified sources, penned by Eleanor ( the Unbelievable) Hutch, Butch, Bitch (sorry, I couldn’t resist), and with photos provided by that venerable journalistic wonder FameFlyNet.com.  Isn’t that special.  Note the caption, “a moving truck is seen leaving Kristen’s house on May 23, 2013.”

Only problem is, it isn’t leaving Kristen’s house at all. That’s a TOTAL FABRICATION. Its entering a gated community of  over a hundred houses in the Laufflin Hills subdivision, one of which just happens to be Kristen’s.  There is absolutely no evidence that the truck even went to Kristen’s house, let alone ended up at Los Feliz 1.  If it did, why haven’t we seen the photos of that since there are only two ways in and out of Aberdeen.

As usual Hutch is the epitome of clarity. From her article and I quote:

“Nothing tells a girl you’re done with a relationship like a moving truck in the driveway!  A truck was spotted leaving Kristen Stewart’s house on May 23rd, presumably containing all of Robert’s stuff.”

And later in the article,

“Twihards can begin weeping, because Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart appear to really be over.  On May 23, a moving truck was seen leaving Kristen’s Los Feliz home, and it was likely full of Rob’s stuff.”

So Eleanor, which is it: “presumably containing his stuff” or is it “likely full of his stuff.” Or are you simply full of it?  And do you think that just because you tell us twice that the truck is leaving Kristen’s house that we are supposed to believe it is? When your blessed photo doesn’t even establish that fact?  Kind of reminds me of this photo.  Remember it?

Moving Van purportedly leaving from Rob's Los Feliz estate on July 28th

Moving Van purportedly leaving from Rob’s Los Feliz estate on July 28th

Yeah, the one from last year in July that turns out was no where near Rob’s house, but was rather fabricated by the tabloids into a fake story to try to make people think there was a moving truck at Rob’s house.  See http://wp.me/p2JqVX-6o  for a refresher course on this lie.  What’s with the tabloids anyway, moving trucks, buying houses, and unknown blonds with boobs. They are so damn predictable.

Hutch’s article winds up with a regurgitation of the The Sun’s nonsense about the text in the shower, and a gratuitous “This is just so sad. We really wanted Rob and Kristen to make it work!”

Eleanor dear,  I think Bitch is a better name for you after all.  No Lying Bitch, now that’s perfect. But I do have to hand it to you. You didn’t go over the top and claim that Kristen supervised the moving truck as the DailyMail did today.  But watch out Bitch, your competitors are nipping at your heels.

Story #2

3

Story #2 includes the so-called smoking gun evidence of the mystery blond according to that journalistic paragon, the Daily Tripe (Mail) and its cited source, Radaronline. So this is the mystery blond that all the tweeters and tabloids have been writing (and lying) about. She’s an English playwright named Polly Stenham.

Per the article and citing Radaronline, it’s supposedly an Instagram picture of the pair showing “the talented 26 year old with her arm draped around Robert and another pal as they enjoyed a night out in NYC shortly before his shock split from Kristen.”  Posted by Rob’s musician friend Mathew Daniel Siskin, although it has mysteriously disappeared from his social networking site.

But there are actually four people in the photo not a pair.  And they fail to mention that the woman in the foreground is none other than Tamra Natasin, as in Katy Perry’s assistant, and Kristen’s purported lesbian love interest according to many other tabloids and tweeters. Polly is an acclaimed young English playwright who penned a play that happened to star Tom Sturridge in early 2013. Imagine that.  Sturridge who was on Broadway in NYC back in early May, when both Rob and Kristen came to see his play Orphans on separate dates.  Oh how the plot thickens.

And who exactly is taking the photo? None of those four obviously.  Kind of makes you wonder doesn’t it.  Is this actually from the night of the Met, which Tom & Sienna Miller, Katy Perry, and Kristen attended, and also the night when Rob and Kristen purportedly partied in NYC? Kind of explains why Tamra would be present, wouldn’t it.  Take a look at an earlier posted photo from the Robsessed website that appears to be from the same evening.

Photo posted earlier on Robsessed.com

Photo posted earlier on Robsessed.com and on instagram

If so, these photos were from about May 6, not “shortly before his shock split from Kristen”  on May19.  And yet the Daily Tripe jumps the gap and tries to turn Stenham into the mystery blond. Pathetic really.

So where are we as of Tuesday May 28th?  I’ll tell you where we are.   Repeat after me, never have two people been subjected to more continuous false reporting, false tweeting, and general BS than Rob and Kristen.  And tabloids + unnamed sources = BS every time.  The breakup story started based on a pile of bull that has only grown as more and more tabloids have piled on.  The pile may have gotten higher, but it still smells the same.

So mark my words.  And don’t be surprised the next time you see Kristen coming out of Los Feliz 1 on Aberdeen.  And don’t be surprised when she is behind the wheel of the Mini Cooper again.

The Top Three Most Patently Absurd Rob and Kristen Breakup Stories of the Last Forty Eight Hours.

by twilighter

Wow. The bull is flying fast and furious. Its almost impossible to keep up with this BS. But we can’t let the hysteria distract us from recognizing the truly over the top stories.  Those that are so unbelievable that you almost choke with laughter as you read them. So let’s give credit where credit is due. Here are my nominees for the most absurd Rob & Kristen Breakup Stories of the Last Forty-Eight Hours.

Story #1. Robert Pattinson Moves Out After Kristen’s Texts to Ex-Fling
Wednesday, 22nd May 2013 By GORDON SMART, Showbiz Editor, The Sun.

Story 1

Story 1

Talk about irony. This article from the British tabloid The Sun was penned by someone named Smart. Probably Maxwell Smart rather than Gordon. But I digress. Quoting an unnamed source in his brilliant piece of journalistic excellence Smart writes:

“Rob was looking at her phone on the morning of his birthday as he wanted to take a picture of something when she was in the shower.”

Yeah right, Rob doesn’t have a phone with a camera. Even though he seems to have that iphone in his hand almost continuously. Or was Rob was taking a picture of Kristen in the shower with her own phone? LOL.

Smart continues:

“Suddenly this message flashes up and it’s not what he wanted to see. He got straight up and left. Despite Kristen’s pleas, he told her not to come to his birthday party at a friend’s that night. He’s extremely angry and upset. No matter how many times she calls or texts, friends say he’s had enough. After everything that happened and the hurt she caused, he’s furious she’d be back in touch with him, even if she is saying it’s completely innocent,” a source tells The Sun.

Yeah right.  What unnamed friends are those Mr. Smart? I’m sure he told them all about so that they could call you “straight up.”  Rob picks up the phone and Rupert just happens to text at that very moment? How coincidental, how convenient for you!  And wham, that puts the kabash on the big birthday bash.  Thank you Mr. Smart for explaining everything to us! I bet your source is Agent 99.

Story #2. Kristen Stewart Races To Taylor Swift After Robert Pattinson Break Up
Tue, May 21, 2013 5:50pm EDT by Chloe Melas

Story 2

Story 2

Chloe Melas writes that “Kristen has found an unlikely friend in T-Swift. Perhaps they’re going to write a song about Rob together?”.  Unlikely Chloe?  Races to her?  The same woman who once told Ellen DeGeneres on national TV that “I think it’s just obnoxious if I complain about anything…,I hear people talk about like, ‘oh, the intrusions on my privacy.’ It’s like there are a million other jobs you could have had. And for me, I’ve just come to an acceptance of the fact, this is my life. If somebody wants to hide a relationship or has privacy issues then we don’t have the same viewpoint. For me, it’s just like live your life. If people happen to take picture then you know, you laugh about it in the car afterwards.”

Forgot about that one from 2011 Chloe?. Even though you wrote about it at the time? Really sounds like the kind of person Kristen is going “race” to see. And what’s with the racing.  I can just see Kristen racing across Hollywood just to see Taylor Swift. But why race, according to you they spent the whole afternoon together?

Chloe continues: “Kristen Stewart isn’t sitting at home anymore! In fact, she was spotted driving over to Taylor Swift‘s house on May 21 with a friend of hers. What on earth could they be up to? Taylor is the queen of break ups and if anyone has advice, it’s her.”

Yeah right. Relationship advice from a woman who goes through boyfriends more often than most women change their panties?  Please Chloe, you can fabricate shit better than that.

And then there is Chloe’s eventual reference to Taylor Lautner “maybe” being the one to suggest this to Kristen, in that they all “run in the same circles. What circles are those Chloe? The circles your mind runs in when you are trying to come up with a coherent thought? But, that is the way to get those webhits Chloe, all the fans: Kristen’s, Lautner’s,and Swift’s.

Chloe continues: “This is far better than Kristen sitting at home crying. It would be pretty good for Kristen to start hanging out with Taylor and Selena Gomez. All of these young women know a thing about break ups and how to get revenge on their men.”  But wait, Chloe, why is Kristen looking for revenge on Rob?  Shouldn’t it be the other way around?  Isn’t he the wronged party in your fantasy story? What’s the matter, are you are lost in your own fabrication?.  Perhaps? Maybe?

Story #3. Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson: How Rupert Sanders Caused Breakup
Thursday, May 23, 2013, 11:25am EDT, by Eleanore Hutch of Hollywood Life (Lies)

Story 3

Story 3

In an “exclusive story” Hutch of Hollywoood Lies finds out exactly what Rob found on Kristen’s phone when she was in the shower on the morning of his birthday.  That she had texted Rupert and told him that she wanted to work with him on the Snow White & The Huntsman sequel! Hmm, the editors over at Hollywood Lies and The Sun seem to have an unhealthy facination with the idea of Kristen in the shower!

Quoting from Hutch’s account:

“Our source said:

“Kristen wants Rupert Sanders to direct the second Snow White movie and Rob was flabbergasted that she would even want to work with him in any capacity after all that was done, adding that the texts he found just blew his mind that she would test him like that. She kept testing him over and over till he couldn’t handle it anymore.”

Yeah right. We are only fabbergasted that you expect anyone to believe this horse dung, especially from an unnamed, unidentified source talking to one of Britain’s most notorious lying tabloids. Good luck with that.

Hutch continues:
“It seems shocking that she would want to work with him again, let alone even be in contact with him.  And Rob may have left her and taken all his belongings — including their dogs — but the source believes they could still work things out.”

Shocking Eleanor? No, PATENTLY UNBELIEVABLE!  Kristen takes a shower and leaves her cellphone around for Rob to view it while she’s been texting Rupert? Rob just happens to find it because he wants to “take a picture of something?”  Yeah right. Like I said probably of Kristen in the shower.  And Kristen wants Rupert back to direct SWATH2 after all the trouble he so-calledly caused? And yet the “source” believes they can still work it all out?

Please Eleanor, don’t insult your readers. We know you made this BS up yourself.  That’s why you always hide behind an unnamed, unidentified source and why your information is unconfirmable.

So dear readers, cast your vote, name the winner. Who wrote the most absurd Rob and Kristen breakup story of the last forty-eight hours.

But if you don’t like these, have no fear.  I am certain that more are coming!  Bonnie Fuller is already writing about how Kristen needs to choose between Rob and Rupert!

***PLEASE NOTE***  TWILIGHTER IS OUT OF TOWN FOR THE MEMORIAL DAY HOLIDAY–HE WILL RESPOND TO COMMENTS UPON RETURN****

Oh the Tabloid BS Rob & Kristen Stories Just Keep Coming- Part 2

by twilighter

Buckle in, this is going to be a long one.

The cyber ink had just barely dried on our last such fabricated story (Liberty Confronts Rob & Kristen at Coachella) before the celebrity gossip machine was at it again.  Doing what it does best: generating bs stories and spewing them across the internet irrespective of reality or truth. And as usual, relying on fabrication, faceless tweeters, unnamed sources, and questionable photographs. This time going back to one of their favorite BS fantasies:  Kristen & Rupert Hookup Again.

Let’s start with the truth before we move on to the bull.  On Thursday, April 18th, Robert Pattinson goes to the Malibu Seafood restaurant with some friends, including Marcus Foster, Jack Standon, a Foster band mate, and two female friends, Nettie and Michaela. See http://www.robstendreams.com/2013/04/new-pictures-of-rob-with-friends-in.html and a story from Eonline.com at http://www.eonline.com/news/409965/robert-pattinson-and-friends-enjoy-beach-day-dinner-in-malibu-without-kristen-stewart-mdash-see-the-pics?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-topstories.

Close followers of Pattinson will recognize Nettie as a long time Pattinson friend and the long-time former girlfriend of Tom Sturridge, with whom she brokeup with in 2011.  She was also a featured player in a tabloid account bemoaning how Rob and Kristen failed to celebrate Christmas Eve together in 2011. See  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2079477/Robert-Pattinson-spends-Christmas-Tom-Sturridges-ex-Nettie-Kristen-Stewart-LA.html. Sturridge subsequently moved on with Sienna Miller. In spite of that fact, Nettie remains close to Rob and also Kristen.

On Friday and/or Sunday, April 19th and/or April 21st, Kristen goes to Malo Taqueria at 4326 W. Sunset Blvd. in LA, a place she recently celebrated her birthday at with Robert Pattinson and a large gang of friends.  Included in the entourage on the recent night(s) in question, are once again Nettie and Michaela. Following what was probably a pleasant but uneventful dinner, what haqs been termed as a “girls night out”, the entourage leaves the restaurant and awaits in the parking lot for their cars to be valeted. Kristen ends up in the passenger front seat of a black car with someone else behind the wheel. Hardly the fodder for a twitter melt down. But if you think this is how the story got reported, you are in for a serious awakening.  The celebrity gossip machine is more than willing to make a tabloid mountain out of a pimple on a mole, let alone out of a molehill.

Now for the bull.  On the afternoon of April 22nd, Eleanore Hutch of Hollywood Life began to report on a Kristen and Rupert reunion, relying primarily on an X17online.com photo of what appeared to be Rupert sitting in a black car outside of Malo Taqueria as Kristen and her friend approached it.  The headline of the story was complete with a photo montage including what was claimed to be a photo of a “standard” Acura wheel, a picture of Rupert with his “dark Accura”, a blowup of the figure in the car captioned “Is this Rupert in his Acura?”, and a label stating that the main photo was of “Kristen Stewart leaving Malo Restaurant on April 21”.  As if a label and them saying those things proves these things to be true. Yeah, right! 

See the Hollywood Life image below.


Hollywood Kife story as it appeared online on the afternoon of the 22nd.

The Hollywood Life story as it appeared online on the afternoon of the 22nd.

The story continued as follows:

“The same day that Robert Pattinson was seen leaving California, Kristen was spotted getting into a car with a man who looks remarkably like Rupert.

Boy, this is really weird. Kristen Stewart went for dinner with some friends at LA restaurant Malo Taqueria on April 21, and afterwards she was seen getting into a dark car that looks like an Acura with a man who looks very similar to Rupert Sanders. And Rupert does happen to drive an Acura! This incident occurred on the same day that Robert Pattinson was seen leaving LA. Could Kristen possibly be in communication with Rupert again?

Kristen Stewart Hanging Out With Rupert Sanders?

Kristen, 23, was having dinner at the restaurant with a bunch of girlfriends — the same eatery where Rob threw her a romantic birthday party one week ago – and when she was leaving she was seen getting into this dark car, reports X17. And the man in the car bears a strong resemblance to her former director.

Did Kristen meet up with her old lover while Rob was away?

Perhaps they had a good reason to talk, especially since Snow White and The Huntsman 2 has been given the green light.

Kristen Stewart & Rupert Sanders:  Their Devastating Affair

Kristen and 42-year-old Rupert’s affair scandalously came to light in the summer of 2012, and it has been conjectured that the two became close on the set of Snow White And The Huntsman. Kristen has already signed on for the sequel, while Rupert has been removed from the project.

It was a long and hard road for Rob and Kristen to get their relationship back on track, while Rupert and his wife Liberty Ross have since filed for divorce.

We sure hope that Kristen was getting into the car with a man that just looks like Rupert, and was not actually Rupert. But, it is weird that they drive such similar looking cars.

HollywoodLife.com has reached out to Kristen’s rep, who said that the man in question is not Rupert.

What do YOU think HollywoodLifers? Was Kristen with Rupert? Do YOU think she is meeting up with him?”

The nonsense, innuendo, and misstatements contained within this story are typical for the celebrity gossip machine.  And Hutch is one of the more ridiculous examples of a tabloid journalist who works for that venerable patriarch of celebrity trash reporting, Hollywood Life.  For example, even on the face of her own story, Hutch provides no proof that this event even happened on the 21st, although that was Hutch’s hoped for spin: that as soon as the cat was away the mouse was sure to play.  But that spin was only as salacious as it was true.  And despite the story’s assertions, Hutch utterly failed to prove that the car was even an Accura at all, let alone the one that Rupert has been seen in before, and that Kristen “hung out” with Rupert based on the photos.  The car’s grill and lower bumper appears inconsistent with any of the Accura models and the characteristic Accura logo is missing from the middle of the wheel rim.  And finally Accura doesn’t have a “standard” rim.  A multitude of rims are available for each of the models.  But why let the facts get in the way of a good lie.

Then there was also that little matter of Hutch’s claim that Rupert was Kristen’s former “lover” which is little more than bald speculation; that they became “close” on the set of SWATH which Hutch herself admits is conjecture; and Hutch’s speculative and unsupported claim that Rupert was “removed” from the SWATH sequel. The choice of these vague descriptive words is very intentional, designed to get people to infer things without any basis.  Topped off by a disingenuous “hope” that maybe they were only getting together “to talk” because SWATH II had been green lighted. Please, Eleanor, we are not idiots.

By 4:30 p.m. EDT on the 22nd, Hollywood Life followed with another story which was essentially a regurgitation of its last one, a typical ploy of the celebrity gossip machine.  This time there well known blogger, Hollywood Life Staff, was provocatively asking the same questions.  It is not surprising that even at Hollywood Life, no one wanted to personally claim this piece of tripe by name.

By a little after 5:00 p.m. EDT, on April 22nd, GossipCop.com was already calling foul in a web debunk entitled “Kristen Stewart and Rupert Sanders “Reunion” Made Up By Hollywood Life”.  Mincing no words, they claimed that “Jay Penske’s [Hollywood Life’s owner] comically misguided webloid has been (willingly) duped by conspiracy theorists who believe paparazzi photos of Kristen Stewart from over the weekend show a possible reunion with Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders”. GossipCop also asserted that the actual dinner event had taken place on April 19th not on the 21st, before Rob had left town, and that “For years, HollywoodLife has mislead and misinformed its readers about Stewart and Pattinson”, recounting many examples, and that the site “remains a scandal-crazed, facts-poor joke.” Ouch!  But typical, GossipCop itself was relying on unnamed sources.

As early as 7:30 A.M. on April 23rd, undeterred, X17online.com itself began to report on the “exclusive” series of photos that it claims were taken at the restaurant parking lot on the evening of April 21. Why it took them allegedly two days to get around to printing all of them on the 23rd is the first of many mysteries to their part of this nonsensical story. But the 21st was critical to their story as well, because Rob had in fact left for NYC earlier that day, leaving Kristen behind. X17’s delay was most likely due to their desire to hawk the dubious “Rupert” photo to Hollywood Life, for which they probably made a pretty penny.  X17online has always straddled the line between being a paparazzi pack of dogs providing pictures to other celebrity websites and being a lesser known, two bit, junk online tabloid themselves.

X17Online coupled the release of the photos with a provocative headline “Was Kristen With Rupert Sanders Last Night?!, and an accompanying “story”.  Yes, a story, as in a fictitious narrative shorter than a novel; a fairy tale; a lie or falsehood.  Not to be confused with a story, as in a news article or broadcast, or a factual narrative of an actual incident or event.  And remember, they were Eleanore Hutch’s original source.  Below is their highly detailed and well documented account. [Editor’s note: inject a heavy dose of sarcasm here]:

Though the pictures numbered more than twenty, only three were truly significant. With the first two, X17online tried to establish that Kristen left the scene in a car driven by none other than Rupert Sanders. The first picture should seem familiar as it is the one that the Hollywood Life based their original story on. Captions on the these photos are mine.

Exclusive Photos – Was Kristen With Rupert Sanders Last Night?!

Apr 23, 2013 07:30 AM

Disputed X17online photo complete with their "red arrow" identifying Rupert.  As if we would miss what they were trying to convince us of.

Disputed X17online photo complete with their “red arrow” identifying Rupert. As if we would miss what they were trying to convince us of.

“ Would Kristen Stewart actually hang out with Rupert Sanders again? Would she possibly go back to the relationship that temporarily separated her from Robert Pattinson and broke up Sanders’ marriage?

We snapped these exclusive shots of Kristen Sunday night at Malo Cantina in Silverlake — the same place Rob took her last week to celebrate her 23rd birthday and the guy driving the car that took KStew and her pals home looks suspiciously like Rupert and the car looks like his black Acura!

After RPatz left town on Saturday, was Kristen getting lonely?”

Yeah right. Now let’s look at the details. First, at least twenty photos were supposedly taken and displayed and yet we get one, ONLY ONE, that purportedly shows a person they claim is Rupert Sanders.  And that photo above shows a face and forehead remarkably well lit within the otherwise darkened car, yet barely tall enough to peer over the steering wheel.  Despite the fact that Rupert is over 6 feet 3 inches tall. It is also unclear if he is in the driver or passenger seat since we only see his head, no shoulders, or hands on the steering wheel, nothing.

Second,Kristen is in the company of two of Rob’s long time friends, and yet brazenly gets into Rupert’s car “with her pals” and drives off with him? Hmm. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. NOT!

Third, but wait, there is more. Despite a picture showing Kristen in the passenger seat of a black car, X17’s paparazzi  somehow manage to fail to  photograph Kristen either getting into the black car or sitting in the car while the “Rupert” figure is still in it! Let alone driving her away, or taking her home.  Imagine that, even in these days of the rapid fire DSLR cameras. These paparazzi must be the same guys that took the pictures for FameFlyNet.com last summer. [editor’s note: yeah, it’s time for another dose of sarcasm here].

Kristen's in a car, but where's waldo?, ah, I mean Rupert.

Kristen’s in a car, but where’s Waldo?, ah, I mean Rupert.

Note also how the obscured driver looks remarkably long haired. (See the brown frizzy curls just beyond Kristen if it is Kristen). And why isn’t Kristen brightly illuminated like “Rupert” was.  Ah, it must be a sparkly vampire thing.

And finally, why would Kristen have Rupert, of all people, pick her and her “pals” up at a very busy, very public Hollywood restaurant and then drive them home? After they stood around at the valet stand waiting for their car. See the picture below.

untitled 4

Yeah right. Why am I having such a sense of BS déjà vu.  So much for X17online’s “evidence”.

Within another 90 minutes at 9:15 am EDT on the 23rd, Hollywood Life was already busy debunking their own story with claims of multiple new unnamed sources.  That article, entitled Kristen Stewart: Truth Behind Her Meeting Rupert Sanders Look-Alike, was again authored by Hollywood Life staff, and began with the proud proclamation that “Sources close to the situation reveal the truth to HollywoodLife.com EXCLUSIVELY.” [editor’s note: Insert eyeroll here]

An eyewitness at the restaurant tells HollywoodLife.com EXCLUSIVELY who the man in the dark car really is.

“That man is a driver, a valet driver,” the source says. “After he drove the car to the front of the parking area, he got out and the two young women in the photo got into the car. That young girl wearing glasses, Kristen Stewart, got into the passenger’s side. She is a regular here and very friendly.”

The witness also revealed that Kristen was also at Malo Taqeria on April 19 with a group of girlfriends, and she had a blast:

Kristen Stewart was here this past Friday night with a group of girlfriends, like about five or six friends. They stayed for a couple of hours and seemed to be celebrating something. They all sat inside and drank regular margaritas and cucumber margaritas. For dinner, they ordered a bunch of different items and split them, including enchiladas, squash blossom soft tacos and Baja-style shrimp tacos. Kristen is a regular customer, as are most of the girlfriends she was with. They seemed to be having a fun girls night out, laughing and smiling.”

The article continues with a claim that another source close to the situation revealed that “the former flames haven’t seen each other in a long time” and that there was “Not a chance in hell she was with Rupert yesterday or anytime recently.” They “backed that up with another source identified as a “separate insider” who insisted the former SWATH colleagues weren’t together. “It wasn’t him and she was not hanging out with Rupert”. “He has never visited the location, and they were not together.”

They then claimed a final source who revealed that “Kristen has no plans to see Rupert at all, that “they were not hanging out with each other” and “that ship and mistake has sailed.”

The article even included a link to a video file of Bonnie Fuller and Chloe Melas trying to explaining these latest developments.  But they comically ended up looking silly, back paddling for the lives like two people about to go over Niagara Falls in one of those wooden barrels.  If you feel compelled to watch, you can see it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?list=PLDovhwKa3P88xgg5xoOW3xBIAFL_DG82M&feature=player_embedded&v=VT42FfCIT-k  . But I’ll save you a web hit and summarize with this transcription:

Bonnie:  “Hi Hollywood Lifers this is your Holly Buzz with Bonnie & Chloe.  And we’ve got some really interesting updated information on Kristen Stewart and the Rupert Sanders look alike.  So Kristen was out with friends the other night at her favorite restaurant Malo Taqueria in California. It’s the same one that Rob threw her birthday party at.  Now, ….everybody was buzzing because when she came out she got into a car and in the car was a man who in profile looked very much like Rupert Sanders.” 

Chloe:  (interrupting)  And coincidentally he happened to drive a black Accura which is the same car that Rupert Sanders is photographed driving around in daily.  So yunno there were many coincidences there. But we have learned from a source at Hollywood Life.com ….”

Bonnie: (interrupting) “Multiple sources”

Chloe:   (interrupting) “That this is not Rupert Sanders!  So ,Ya!” [Insert Chloe’s gleeful  clapping here, squealing like the high school freshman she is forever destined to be] .

Bonnie: No, we’re really happy we did a lot of investigating over night.  We found sources who were actually at the restaurant that night and who knew who the driver was. It is a valet who works there after six o’clock at night. And he does apparently look a bit like Rupert Sanders. And we also found out from multiple sources that Kristen wants nothing to do with Rupert Sanders, that he is in her past, she has moved on, she will never go back there, and will never make a mistake like that again.

Chloe:  Well, it looks like it’s just a bunch of ah, very ironic coincidences that happened. But…

Bonnie: (interrupting) But we got to the bottom of it.

Chloe: (Interrupting) We got to the bottom of it.  So for more on the Robert Pattinson-Kristen Stewart-Rupert Sanders triangle come to Hollywood Life.com

OMG, I haven’t seen reporting like since the Watergate scandal.  Bring on the Pulitzer Prizes.  But then again, query why Bonnie and Chloe hadn’t done all that “investigating” before they allowed this ridiculous story to appear on their website, why they were still relying on unnamed, unidentified sources, and why they hadn’t bothered to prove the car was even an Accura, let alone the wheel of an Accura. Let alone that they had their dates wrong.  Et cetera, etcetera, etcetera.  But despite Hollywood Life’s recantation, the damage had already been done.

Somewhat remarkably,  most of the rest of the celebrity gossip machine had been in no hurry to pick up this piece of dog shit.  Even the professional liars have some standards I suppose.  But have no fear.  Once websites such as Hollywood Life, Gossip Cop and X17online.com became engaged, many more were sure to pick up this piece of crap and run with it. And add yet more scintillating details.

Within another day, Tracy Gee of thehollywood5.com was blogging the following story:

Kristen Stewart got photographed hopping into Rupert Sanders cheat-mobile AGAIN?

While Robert Pattinson was in New York handling some business, Kristen Stewart was in LA doing something that looked oddly familiar.

Kristen was hanging out at this Mexican restaurant with some girlfriends but she took off with another man. The paparazzi snapped photos of her getting into the passenger seat of a black car that looked like the same vehicle that was busted cheating with Robert in… And the guy behind the wheel looked like dirty director Rupert Sanders too.

Is she taking a ride in the cheat-mobile again? Did she really run back into the arms of her affair the minute that her boyfriend left town? I wouldn’t put it past her.

Kristen’s rep refused to comment on the situation but they did throw this theory out there to help her save face. It was just her girlfriend’s car and that was just a valet that was driving it.

But let’s be real. Kristen’s about to get busy with the upcoming Snow White and the Huntsman sequel… but Rupert’s not going to be there to, um, keep her busy this time. He was dropped from the project. So now they have to sneak in some cheating time while they can since they can’t play during work hours anymore.

Robert did land back in LA last night and he didn’t look pleased.

See the pics for yourself right HERE. What do you think? Guilty or innocent this time?

So now X17online’s “Rupert picked up Kristen and her pals and drove them home” suddenly morphs into Kristen was with her friends but then “took off with another man”.  It’s truly amazing how tabloids can bend even a lie.

Which prompted me to comment on their blog, thusly:

Wow.  You guys are really scumbags when it comes to truth.  First of all, this car is so-calledly an Accura, not Kristen’s Mini Cooper.  If you are going make up lies, at least try to know the false facts of this so-called cheating scandal.  Second, as for Kristen’s rep, she has refused to comment on this ridiculous assertion, as she always does regarding tabloid tripe. Although many others have already confirmed that the guy driving the car that night was a valet and the car in fact belonged to a female friend Kristen was with that night.  And as for “sneaking” in some “cheating time”, being picked up in plain view at a busy Hollywood restaurant after having stood around at a valet stand outside, is hardly consistent with sneaking. And as for Rob, he looks pissed because as usual he can’t even walk out of an airport without being hounded by a pack of paparazzi scum that websites like you support.

So let’s get real. I wouldn’t put it past you to make up BS just to try to get webhits on your pathetic website.  Funny thing is, I’m your only comment, but you are too gutless to print it because it calls you out on your nonsense.  Have a nice day.

And just as I predicted, it was pretty funny as thehollywood5 were too gutless to retain my comment.  They immediately removed it and to this day still don’t have another comment on their so-called story.  And as for the paparazzi “snapping pictures of her [Kristen] getting into the passenger seat”, if they did take those photos we sure haven’t seen them yet as X17online never provided any such photos.

Although the story had been slow to get traction, eventually the celebrity gossip machine did its usual thing and divided into three seemingly completing camps: She definitely didn’t hookup with Rupert; she definitely did hook up with Rupert; and maybe she hooked up with Rupert, what do you think?.  All based on the same old X17online.com account with some embellishments, and on the same set of pictures.  For some examples of each see: NO- New York Daily News and Now Magazine; YES- The Mirror and Celebrity Dirty Stinking Rotten Laundry.com (yeah, them again); and MAYBE – The Examiner.com, the San Jose Mercury News, Marie Claire, and Sugarscape. And there was even a fourth version, she was hooking up with a new guy that just happened to resemble Rupert, provided by those mental giants over at The Stir.

And just like at the dump where garbage draws flies, this story just kept decomposing.  With new stories about how Rob raced back from NYC to confront Kristen about the story, how Rob appeared glum at the airport in LA upon arrival because of the rumors (probably more likely due to the fact that he was being harassed by dozens of paparazzi),  and as recently as April 30th when the internet once again lite up with a story claiming that Rob faked out Kristen by making her take a “mock” lie detector test about the Rupert reunion as a joke. That last one was picked up by several other sites, some even having the audacity to claim that making her take the test actually happened and wasn’t meant as a joke.  All of those accounts were debunked by Rob and Kristen themselves, as they resumed their everyday activities together like nothing had happened including being papped in a convenience store seeking a candy and Snapple fix. Ah, Carl Bernstein would be turning over in his grave.

Which takes me back to a question I asked before in my last post.  Why does anyone ever believe anything that comes out of the mouths of the celebrity gossip machine. That is truly a mystery that no one can answer. For another tale of the celebrity gossip machine lying its face off, see It’s Time to Put Something to Rest: US Magazine’s Account of the Kristen Stewart “Cheating Scandal” is Fabricated at http://wp.me/p2JqVX-vD.

And so until next time, keep calm and carry on.

Predicting Tabloid Garbage: Assessing Five Rob & Kristen Stories Waiting to Happen

by twilighter

Back on January 18, I pulled out my crystal ball and made few predictions for what BS stories we would inevitably hear from the celebrity gossip machine about Rob & Kristen between then and her birthday.  Given that it was Kristen’s birthday yesterday, it’s time to look back at the cow dung and see how I did.  Suffice to say, the celebrity gossip machine ran true to form.  They are always so predictable.

Back in January, I couldn’t  say with clarity what particular gossip rag (Hollywood Life, In Touch Magazine, Us Magazine, People Magazine, The Enquirer, Gossip Cop, The Mirror, etc, etc, etc) would break the fabricated offending stories, but that we could be sure of three things: 1). whomever did break one, it would be with unnamed, unidentified sources, 2.) the rest of the celebrity gossip machine would invariably re-report the story no matter how ridiculous, unsubstantiated, and obnoxious it was, and 3). there would millions of sheep out there in the blogsphere that would immediately believe it and go bah bah bah with the rest of the flock. And I gave you a big clue: Robert Pattinson’s trip to Australia to film Rover. Because every time Rob and Kristen are apart, some tabloid is going to take advantage of that fact to generate some BS.

So what stories did I predict would occur before Kristen’s birthday?

Story #1: It will be some version of how Kristen and Rubert Sanders have hooked up in Rob’s absence and how Kristen is continuing her cheating ways.  Perhaps in a car, maybe at a “romantic” overlook, or perhaps at her house.  The story will undoubtedly include old pictures of Rupert and Kristen, but will unlikely include new ones, as they would certainly be much more scrutinized this time than the last time.  And in spite of the lack of evidence to support the story, it will unleash a fresh wave of Kristen bashing and hatred in the blogsphere. And note, this fairytale is already actually in progress.

Did this BS story happen?  Sure did, multiple times. As I noted in January when I made these predictions, there were already unsubstantiated twitter claims at the time that Rupert and Kristen were seen together in Los Feliz.  And remember, virulent twitter chatter is a common source for tabloids to both start to fabricate and mine their BS story ideas.  As we have seen, anyone can go onto twitter and start some crap.

But Heat Magazine really got the bull rolling on this one on February 7th, by claiming that Kristen reached out to Rupert after Liberty Ross filed for divorce and Rob ended their relationship the previous month.  Via an unnamed, unidentified source.

“Kristen was feeling low – the lowest she’s ever felt – when Rob flew to Australia. She doesn’t have a huge circle of friends. Rob was the closest person to her. So, when he left, she reached out to Rupert to see if he was OK and suggested meeting for a coffee,” an insider purportedly told Heat Magazine.

“It seemed like Kristen was just blindly trying to do something to ease her pain. When Rob found out she’d contacted Rupert through a mutual friend, he was upset that Kristen would even go there. He wasn’t jealous, he was just incredulous. It seems like Kristen has no chance with him now.”

Heat continued, “Sanders was also said to be shocked by K-Stew’s actions, and decided not to meet up with her. It’s not thought that the 22-year-old was looking to reignite her romance with the 42-year-old film director, but was simply looking for someone to discuss her ongoing problems with.”

“Kristen feels helpless without Rob. The fact he has upped and left her has devastated her. She had thought she might be able to go to Australia for visits and keep their relationship going, but Rob found it difficult to trust her again and knew long distance would be too difficult.”

“Things had become irreparable. Kristen knew things were over between Rupert and Liberty too and it seemed like she just wanted to talk to someone who was going through the same thing as her,” the source added.

Yeah right, insert a cyber eye roll here. The funniest thing about this whole story was that even some of the other online tabloids had trouble keeping a straight face while regurgitating this story. For example see:  http://on.aol.com/video/kristen-stewart–lonely-enough-to-reach-out-to-rupert-sanders–517666770 .

In Touch Magazine joined the fray shortly thereafter in a February 9 web account when they provocatively posed the question whether Robert’s departure could be a “recipe for disaster”. But they didn’t seem to be on the same page with Heat Magazine.  Citing an unnamed Rupert pal as a source, this unnamed pal claimed that “It wouldn’t surprise me at all if Kristen and Rupert got back in touch, and it would be Rupert who reached out. He was infatuated with her.”

By February 9, Hollywood Life also was in the game, relying on their own unnamed “source close to Kristen”. Their source claimed that Kristen had not contacted Rupert at all as far as they knew since Kristen had “made a commitment to Rob that Rupert would no longer be a part of her life”.

As usual all the rest of the celebrity gossip machine jumped in, complete with re-reportings of all the nonsense, and Gossip Cop debunkings, all resulting in a continuous debate about whether she had or had not contacted him, or he had or had not tried to contact her, and whether they had actually met or not. And in spite of a complete lack of credible evidence for any of it, the stories fueled the typical Kristen bashing across the blogsphere. All you have to do is examine the comment threads to any of these ridiculous stories to see what I mean.

But have no fear, by February 28, Radaronline was reporting in a web article that Rupert had actually attempted to reach out but Kristen “doesn’t want anything to do with him,” again via, you guessed it, an unnamed unidentified source. This source claimed Rupert “texted her a number of times, however Kristen didn’t respond.” Continuing, the source claimed that “In truth, she regrets ever getting involved with Rupert, because of how much it hurt Robert and the amount of public backlash she was subjected to. Kristen doesn’t really know what’s going on with her and Robert at the moment, and she’s been left in limbo. Ideally, she would like things to go back to how they once were, but that’s proving a lot more difficult than she imagined. But when it comes to Rupert, that ship has sailed,” the source revealed.

Awe, how cute.  Complete with a Twilight literary reference. Insert another cyber eye roll here.

Story #2.  It will some version of Rob is out (probably at some wateringhole) with another mystery woman (probably a blond)(probably has big tits) and with whom he is having a (probably a romantic) wonderful evening.  There may or may not be equivocal photos to go along with the story. And again despite the lack of evidence to support it, it will unleash a fresh wave of Kristen bashing and hatred and assertions that she deserves it and how great it is that Rob has moved on to a new love.

Oh this one was just too easy to predict and of course the celebrity gossip machine delivered BS in spades.  Starting within five days of my prediction.

Rob had barely landed in Australia before the “blond bimbo” rumors started.  He was pictured with some Aussie girls at the airport on January 17th in a Hollywood Life account that was released on January 23rd.  The five girls pictured with him included three blondes, a two brunettes and a red head. But despite the fanfare, this was clearly just a fan pic.

The next one started with a January 27th Hollywood Life story headline claiming that Rob was Hanging with a Sexy Blond At A Music Festival in Adelaide, Australia. Included was a fan pic of Rob and a young woman the caption identified as a “mystery blond.”  Despite the fact that the accompanying article identified the “mystery” woman as Alexandra Warner (no mystery there) and that she along with a couple other people had some fan pictures taken with Rob at the concert. This story took a later odd turn when Ms. Warner tweeted that Rob was stoned. In reality, they were no more hanging together than were Rob and all the rest of the people at the music festival.  But why let the facts get in the way of a sleezy headline?  Then again, I am surprised it didn’t read Rob Hangs with Dozens of Sexy Blonds at a Music Festival.

But like someone suffering from bulimia, Hollywood Life couldn’t stop itself.  In a February 5th account, Robert Pattinson Hangs Out With Cute Blonde Fans in Australia, Rob was once again “hanging out”  with “cute’ (translation:buxom) blonde fans, complete with an accompanying photo. If “hanging out” that is means taking a picture, signing a dvd, an iphone cover, and “one of the girl’s arms” for a few minutes while he tried to have a smoke.

But don’t get the idea that Hollywood Life was alone. Oh no!  Maurice Cassidy of that venerable journalistic paragon, Celebrity Dirty Stinking Laundry whatever.com (yes we have featured them before in other articles on this blog) took the same story and led it with the following line: “Robert Pattinson has no plans on keeping it in his pants anytime soon, because this time he’s been spotted with TWO new girls who both happen to be blonds (again) and give us that facial expression of ‘ooh, that was good’—it doesn’t take a smart guy to figure out why the two hot blonds…have such big grins on their faces.”

Well rest assured, Cassidy is in fact dumb as a post but he somehow managed that leap of deductive brilliance.

And don’t get the idea that these two tabloid giants were alone in this story.  Of course the rest of the celebrity gossip machine jumped in including regurgitated reports, Gossip Cop debunkings, all resulting in a continuous debate about whether Rob was or was not actually doing these women, was or was not stoned and/or drunk, and did or did not ban Kristen from visiting him there in Australia.

Yep, you guessed it.  Time for another cyber eye roll.  It seems bulimia is a epidemic problem with the tabloid press.

Story #3  This will be some version of how Kristen has stepped out on Rob with someone other than Rupert Sanders.  That person will be male (probably over ten, or between 40 and 70 since she has a known penchant for older men [editor’s note: please note the heavy sarcasm here]) probably an actor or other celebrity (possibly Taylor Lautner, James Franko, or other some other Hollywood hunk) and who may likely be involved with one of Kristen’s projects in some way, shape, or form.  Again, despite the lack of supporting evidence, the blogsphere will once again erupt in “once a cheater, always a cheater chanting”, Kristen bashing and hatred, and  generalized chest thumping. Pay particular attention to whomever is cast as Kristen’s love interest in In Focus.

Oh, I really nailed this one including naming one of the principles. There are so many versions of this story that it is almost ridiculous. Everything from veiled articles about Kristen hanging out with Taylor Lautner, to having “hot chemistry with Jim Sturgiss, to flirting with Patrick Swarzenager, to hanging with Rob’s BFF Marcus Foster, to jumping in a mystery man’s arms. Almost to much bull to keep track of.

But even I lacked the imagination of the celebrity gossip machine by missing the Kristen is gay angle of stories that were based on Kristen being sprawled across Katy Perry and Selena Gomez’s laps at the Kid’s Choice Awards, being ever in company of her best friend Scott Taylor Compton, and  being newly chummy with Katy Perry’s assistant,Tamra Natisin.

Without burying you in too many deets, here are the essentials on these stories.  Hollywood Life claimed in a February 14th account that an unnamed, unidentified source “close to Jim Sturgiss” told them exclusively that when Sturgiss came to town for pre-production meetings for The Big Shoe, Jim and Kristen seemed to have “major chemistry, they really seemed to click”. But the source noted that “Jim has a girlfriend and Kristen is back with Rob so it’s totally professional between them right now,” the source added.

Interestingly when Wetpaint.com picked up and regurgitated Hollywood Life’s story that same day, the ending of that quote mutated considerably. “Jim has a girlfriend and Kristen is back with Rob, so it’s totally professional between them right now, but that could change.  The movie is going to be very sexy and Jim is exactly Kristen’s type so who knows, anything could happen.”

Hmm.  A perceptive reader may be asking themselves at this point how an exclusive source to one gossip rag could end such a quote in two highly divergent ways.  Yep, insert the cyber eye roll once again.

It was a tabloid throw down from the beginning of Patrick Schwarzenegger story.  US Magazine, relying as usual on a unnamed, unidentified source merely reported on February 13th that Kristen attended Taylor Lautner’s bowling alley birthday party and was “living it up” with no particular reference to Patrick other than he was also in attendance.

That same day Hollywood Life’s “exclusive source close to the situation” told them that “Kristen at no time throughout the night was interested in flirting with any guy in the place, she was just having fun with Taylor and his friends”.  But the source added that it looked like Patrick Schwarzenegger had moments throughout the night that looked like he was flirting with her on more than one occasion but that “They didn’t leave together and it seemed as if [Patrick] accepted his lost quest for Kristen.”

Star Magazine, a little late to the game reported on March 6th yet another variation and another source, claiming that “Kristen has been on the prowl” and was seen “flirting up a storm” with Schwarzenegger, “creeping on Patrick big time” at the party. Echoing Star’s report on the same day, Radaronline’s unnamed source upped the ante saying that people at the party told them “they should get a room because the energy between them was so hot.”

Yeah right, cue the eye roll.  Perceptive readers may once again be asking themselves how can so many different versions of the same event be possible? But remember, unbridled by the truth, the celebrity gossip machine is capable of fabricating just about anything it desires.

In the aftermath of the birthday party, Kristen joined Taylor for an afternoon of fun in the batting cases on March 14, but surprisingly did little to claim anything even close to a date.  I half expected to see it described as a double date given the picture below.

Kristen and Taylor on March 14

Kristen and Taylor on March 14

But that failed to materialize as the celebrity gossip machine seemed satisfied to characterize it as a friends day out.  The cynic in me says that they were just bank the episode for future use when they spin a more sinister version of the Taylor and Kristen relationship. Of course that didn’t stop plenty in the blogsphere and on twitter from  going there with suggestions that Tay.lor were or should become a couple.

The Kristen jumps into the arms of a “mystery man” story was screwed up from the beginning when some X17online paparazzi photos of Kristen’s night out the night before the Oscars on February 24th went viral.  For a short time, even Hollywood Life was identifying him as Kristen’s new mystery man, before almost immediately having to backtrack when it realized the man was Rob and Kristen’s gay friend CJ Romero.  London’s Daily Mail didn’t do much better, identifying the guy as Marcus Foster, one of Rob’s BFF’s and a well known singer who used Kristen in his music video in 2011.  You would think a British gossip rag would know a home grown Brit, but again, the facts seemed to have escaped them.  Although, Marcus Foster was within the party of people that Kristen was with that night.

But another person in that entorage, Katy Perry’s assistant, Tamra Natisin, was to become a more immediate source of interest.  Kristen’s venture into lesbianism was proclaimed by that venerable paragon of journalistic excellence, The National Enquirer, in a March 12th article entitled: Is It True What They Are Saying About Kristen Stewart? [Editor’s note:  If tabloids are sayings it, it is highly unlikely to be true]. In the article, the Enquirer claimed that while Rob was away filming in Australia, Kristen found romantic comfort in Katy Perry’s assistant.

“Rob will hit the roof when he sees photos of Kristen and Tamra hanging out together,” predicted an insider. “It’s obvious to all of her friends that there’s a romance brewing between them.”

Quoting from the article: “On March 3, free-spirited Kristen, 22, raised eyebrows by lavishing attention on Tamra at Hollywood’s Hotel Cafe.” “They arrived together and spent the entire night talk­ing to each other, ignoring everyone around them,” revealed their insider. “Af­ter a few hours, they left together. Lately, Kristen and Tamra have been spending all their free time together.”

Meanwhile the Enquirer continued, 26-year-old Pattinson has reportedly banned Kristen from visiting him so he can concentrate on his film project.

But sources say she doesn’t seem to be missing him now that she’s found Tamra, who’s said to be very vocal about equality for same-sex couples and even attended a gay pride rally in the past year.”

Wow.  Yeah.  Insert eye roll again.

The Kristen is gay story probably would have really taken off after Kristen appeared at Tamra’s birthday party which was widely reported.  Only problem was Rob was there with her.

Rounding out the nonsense, late comer starMedia in a web article on March 29 didn’t even try to be subtle even though they didn’t even bother to refer to having a source: “After K-Stew and Rob failed in their intent to work things out in spite of Kristen’s indiscretion, the Twilight Saga actress decided she wanted to experience a new kind of love! Reportedly Kristen has been dating Katy Perry’s assistant Tamra Natisin, who is openly bisexual. They have been seen together several times, close to each other during parties and events.”

Yeah right.  My eye muscles are getting tired. But the tabloid press was tireless in regurgitating these stories and the blogsphere never tired of having a tirade over it.

I surprised they didn’t try to run with a Kristen/Katy Perry hookup after the following pictures from the KCA’s.

at KCA

Story #4  This one will be some version of how Rob has hooked up with some female member of the cast or crew of Rover.  Or, because of the dearth of females roles in the cast, maybe they’ll just drag in an Australian actress (like Emily de Ravin, Emily Browning, Teresa Palmer, or Mia Wasikowaka even if they all happen to be in the United States).  Despite a lack of evidence supporting the story, the blogsphere will once erupt into “Rob is free at last” jubilation, Kristen is not good enough for him bashing, and related nonsense, blah, blah, blah.

Once again, I nailed it.  Within four days! I went to print on January 18th and by January 22nd, Look Magazine was reporting that Rob had made arrangements to meet up with Emilie de Ravin in Australia. Man, that was fast.

Their unidentified, unnamed source purportedly told them that  “Rob and Emilie get on ridiculously well. They stayed in touch after working together, and now Rob’s moving over to her home country their texts and calls have stepped up again. They’ve arranged to meet as soon as possible,”

“Kristen knows that Rob and Em are close and that must have been difficult for her.” the insider added.  “When he mentioned that they might meet up, Kristen flipped. This tipped her over the edge and in turn seems to have made Rob realize their relationship was never going to go back to how it was.”

Yeah, right.  Cue the eye roll, the regurgitation reflex, and the endless chatter on the blogsphere.

Story #5  This one is easy.  Kristen will undoubtedly go to Australia sometime during Rob’s shoot there for Rover although evidence of her visit will be minimal but obvious.  The blogsphere will again erupt into an endless debate about whether she went there because: 1). she was once again pregnant, 2). they had once again reconciled or broke up, 3). they both wanted to go house hunting because they love it there in Australia and have an uncontrollable desire to buy houses, 4). its all for PR, 5). she was was reconnecting with her Australian roots, and/or 6.) Rob was missing her arm pits.  Despite a +10,000 mile +twenty hours flight to get there many will reject the notion that she loves him and just wanted to spend some time with him.

As it turned out, I struck out on this one.  Hey nobody’s perfect. Poor research on my part.  I didn’t realize just how horrid and nasty the middle of no-where is, hundreds of miles from Adelaide. If I had been Rob, I wouldn’t have wanted Kristen to join me either. And after all, I’m sure Kristen didn’t want to crimp Rob’s “style” with all the buxom blondes.  Yeah I’m inserting the eye roll here this time.

But even a no-story was the object of continuous tabloid and blogsphere debate.  Had they split, or would Rob return to her in LA?  Would he skip LA and go directly to London or did he plan an ocean sailing cruise without her.  Was the “trial separation” a breather or was it already over, kept quiet just to sell dvd’s.

Blah. Blah. Blah.  Well we know what happened when he got back.  But that didn’t stop the tabloids and the blogsphere from trying to obscure the truth.

In Conclusion

So there you have it. [Five] Rob & Kristen Stories Waiting to Happen. I think I did pretty well if I say so myself.  And thanks to all of you to help spot these many stories. And there are so many more we didn’t even touch on. And true to form we observed the three basic principles about such tabloid gossip stories over and over again:

1.  They are invariably based on an unnamed, unidentified source.

2. Once released, the content will be regurgitated over and over again by the rest of the celebrity gossip machine even as the story mutates, and

3. There are millions of people who will believe them and go into histrionics even if they aren’t supported by a shred of credible evidence.

By Rob’s birthday I’ll return and discuss my second stab at the crystal ball.  “Seven More BS Rob & Kristen Stories Waiting to Happen.”  You can find these predictions in the blog below.  And I am already doing pretty well on that one to.  In the meantime I need to keep monitoring the web and cataloging those stories.  And rest my eye muscles before my eyes roll right out of my head.