Why Kristen Stewart And ‘The Rock’ Best Represent New Movie Stardom – Forbes

Why Kristen Stewart And ‘The Rock’ Best Represent New Movie Stardom – Forbes.

via Why Kristen Stewart And ‘The Rock’ Best Represent New Movie Stardom – Forbes.

4 Reasons You Should Actually Like, Not Hate, Kristen Stewart

4 Reasons You Should Actually Like, Not Hate, Kristen Stewart.

via 4 Reasons You Should Actually Like, Not Hate, Kristen Stewart.

Oh the Tabloid BS About Rob & Kristen Just Keeps Coming!

By Twilighter

Why anyone believes anything tabloids say about Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson is truly one of the bigger mysteries of the early part of the 21^st Century.

Imagine this stranger than Hollywood kind of story.  Rob & Kristen fresh off of their recent romantic reconciliation spend the weekend at the Coachella Music Festival in Indio, California to chill and enjoy the music.  Standing near stage at an evening performance of Jurassic 5 on Friday night, to her horror, Kristen discovers that she is standing right next to Liberty Ross, the soon to be ex-wife-wife of the “Snow White and the Huntsman” director Rupert Sanders, with whom Stewart was caught having an affair last summer. Wracked with guilt she flees the scene visibly upset at the confrontation!

And the only way you will get to this story is to use your imagination because IT JUST PLAIN DIDN’T HAPPEN.  But tell that to the tabloid press. Why should they let something like the facts get in the way of a juicy piece of BS.

So let’s just start with the facts before we move on to the BS.  The facts are that on Friday night, April 12^th, Rob & Kristen in the company of Katy Perry and others took in the show of Jurassic 5 at the Coachella Music Festival in Indio, and there were plenty of pictures and stories to prove it.

Rob & Kristen enjoying Jurassic 5 at Coachella on April 12th

Meanwhile Liberty Ross attended the Diesel + Edun Studio Africa Event at the Rolling Stone Rock Room at Tally Horse Ranch in nearby La Quinta Friday night in the company with her new boytoy Jimmie Lovine. And managed to weasel her way into a photo with Bono and his wife. And here is the photo to prove it.

Liberty Ross, Bono, Bono’s wife Eli Hewson, Jimmie Iovine, and Renzo Russo at Tally Horse Ranch on April 12th (pictured right to left)

For those of you are geographically challenged, those places in Indio and La Quinta, although nearby each other, ARE NOT at the same place.

And finally Bono never went to Coachella because he went to Palm Springs for the Diesel +Elum event in La Quinta, to support a joint venture he has with Diesel to sell African made free trade clothing.  We know he didn’t go to Coachella because he said as much in a interview on  that was videotaped.  That interview started with the following from Bono:

“I was reminded as we arrived here just how magnetic and magic the landscape. And it was very difficult, I’ll be honest with you, as a lead-singer type to drive by the festival – I just felt like I’d missed something very special, but I missed something very special to be a part of something extremely special.”

If you don’t believe me, watch the video at http://www.rollingstone.com/music/videos/coachella-2013-bono-talks-denim-collaboration-with-diesel-20130414#ixzz2QeuNvqHv .  The something extremely special was the Diesel + Edun event.  He even ended up doing some impromptu singing with a musical group while there.  And rest assured, if he had gone to Coachella, I’m sure twitter and the internet would have lit up about it, which it didn’t.

So to summarize the facts, on Friday night, Kristen & Rob and friends were at Coachella watching Jurassic 5; Liberty and her boytoy were at Tally Horse Ranch with Bono, Bono’s wife and hundreds of others; and Bono didn’t go to Coachella.   

Now enter the BS.  Whenever BS appears, it’s not unusual to find the English tabloid The Sun somewhere around. They are that paragon of journalistic excellence that was responsible for breaking the important story and pictures last summer of Prince Harry in Las Vegas naked.  Clearly Pulitzer Prize material.  I guess what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas, at least when The Sun is around. Here’s how The Sun’s turd of story began:

Kristen Stewart’s tears at Coachella- Love rival at the same gig

By GORDON SMART, Showbiz Editor

Published: 16th April 2013

Standing at the front of a festival crowd is always likely to have its drawbacks, like being hit by a cup full of warm liquid making its way to the stage.

But Kristen Stewart would probably have swapped her situation for one of those missiles after she and Robert Pattinson found themselves standing next to model Liberty Ross at Jurassic 5’s Coachella gig at the weekend.

The Twilight stars were among the first to arrive at the side of the stage to watch the hip-hop group’s performance.

But Kristen was mortified when the former wife of movie director Rupert Sanders, who she had a fling with last year, turned up.

The model was at the music event with new boyfriend Jimmy Iovine and his old pal Bono from U2.

A source said: “Kristen has tried so hard to put everything from last year behind her — and she still feels incredibly guilty.

“She and Rob had turned a massive corner in recent months and they were both there to enjoy themselves.

“The last thing she wanted to do was make Liberty feel uncomfortable, either. She looked pretty upset in the backstage bar later on that evening.”

Just to up the ante, the web version of the article included an obviously photoshopped image of the supposed encounter.  Note the heavy graininess of the Rob & Kristen side of the photo below and the lack of graininess on Liberty’s half.  Note also how they lifted Liberty’s image out of the Tally Horse Ranch image from above. The caption is The Sun’s.

California streamin’ … Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson shed tears at Coachella

Imagine that, a tabloid involving itself in photoshopping.  Now that’s really convincing stuff, isn’t it? And always the ever ready unnamed source, johnny-on-the- spot able to provide commentary on what Kristen was thinking and doing.  But then again, there is that little problem.  Bono said he didn’t go to Coachella because he had a more important thing to do- the Diesel + Edin event.  So Liberty couldn’t have “been at “ Coachella with “Jimmy Levine and his old pal Bono”. And furthermore who is this mythical unnamed source who knows Kristen’s every thought and stalks her to the backstage bar later that night? A casual concert goer who talks of Kristen’s struggles and guilt and turning corners?  A trusted friend who just decides to  blab their mouth to a cheap tabloid? Or just a figment of the sick imagination of a tabloid editor spinning a sensationalized piece of garbage?

Yes, if it looks like garbage, and it smells like garbage, it most likely is garbage.  Certainly no other reputable news outlets that would pick this up, would they?

Well got news for you, there are not that many reputable news outlets left particularly when we talk about celebrity gossip. Any time you can smell the BS, you can also be certain that Hollywood Life is not far away.  And are good friend Bonnie (the compulsive liar) Fuller couldn’t resist sticking her foot right in it. 

Her web story of April 16,Kristen Stewart: You Were Right To Avoid A Liberty Ross Coachella Run-In [dateline April 16, 2013 3:39pm EDT] began by describing how Kristen almost experienced her worst nightmare at Coachella on April 12.  Fuller went on to babble on how the affair affected Liberty blah blah blah and how an “awkward encounter was barely avoided” as they came within several feet of running into one another.  [Editor’s note: that several feet was closer to about 10,000 feet as the crow flies. That’s how far the Coachella Festival and the La Quita ranch are from each other].

Bonnie babbled on about how a run in was inevitable and how there were “unsubstantiated reports” following the scandal that Kristen planned to write Liberty an apology but that Bonnie didn’t think that ever happened.  Note also that the unsubstantiated report of this apology letter came from none other than Hollywood Life at the time of the “so-called scandal”.  Query also how Bonnie would know would whether the letter was penned or not. I am sure there is an unnamed source crawling in the slime somewhere down there at Bonnie’s feet. Bonnie concluded the tripe with some of her typical useless irrelevant-to-the-situation relationship advice. 

Speaking of picking up the turd and running with it, Wetpaint.com is another tabloid website that couldn’t resist the story.  Their account, Kristen Stewart “Upset” After Seeing Liberty Ross at Coachella: Report by Ryan Gajewski was a basic regurgitation of The Sun story:

Kristen and Rob were listening to hip-hop group Jurassic 5 perform on April 12 when they suddenly noticed that they were standing very close to Liberty Ross, who was there with her current boyfriend, American Idol’s Jimmy Iovine. 

Kristen apparently was relieved that Liberty didn’t appear to notice that she was standing there, as Kristen “still feels incredibly guilty” about what happened between herself and Rupert.

”The last thing she wanted to do was make Liberty feel uncomfortable,” a source says about Kristen. ”[Kristen] looked pretty upset in the backstage bar later on that evening.”

Thankfully, Kristen and Rob left the area, and there was no encounter between them and Liberty.”

I guess wetpaint missed the part about Bono being there even though they were citing The Sun as their source.

Sugarscape.com also couldn’t resist sticking their foot into it either, only this time Kristen and apparently “bumped into” Liberty. Their account penned by Carl Smith, “Kristen Stewart left feeling ‘upset’ after she and Robert Pattinson bump into Liberty Ross at Coachella?

“ Just when things were looking all bright and beautiful in the world of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, it seems things have come crashing back down to reality after the pair had a majorly awkward encounter with Liberty Ross at the Coachella over the weekend. After being spotted holding hands and looking loved-up at the festival, the Twilight stars apparently bumped into Liberty of cheating scandal fame. EhhhmaGahdd.

·         Yup, cast your minds back to last summer and the earth shattering that K-Stew had cheated on Rob (we can barely even bring ourselves to type this again…) with Snow White and The Huntsman director Rupert Sanders – leaving both R-Pattz and Rupert’s wife Liberty pretty pissed. And whilst all this seems like a distant memory, the sitch apparently reared its ugly head *again* on Friday.

According to reports, Rob and Krist met up with Katy Perry to watch Jurassic 5’s set on Friday. Meanwhile, Liberty was ALSO at the SAME FRICKIN’ GIG avec her new beau Jimmy Iovine. And Bono from U2. Obvs. Now as you can imag, the situation was said to be *pretty* tense, with one onlooker telling The Sun “Kristen has tried so hard to put everything from last year behind her, and she still feels incredibly guilty.”

She and Rob had turned a massive corner in recent months and they were both there to enjoy themselves. The last thing she wanted to do was make Liberty feel uncomfortable, either. She looked pretty upset in the backstage bar later on that evening.” Well this is all very unsettling, innit? Just went things were looking so good.

What do you think? Kinda wish you were a fly on the wall at that gig? Comments please.”

Well here are a few comments for you Mr. Smith. They apparently bumped into each other? Who is your source Mr. Smith?  Because if you are using The Sun they didn’t talk about “bumping into” any one. At least, unlike wetpaint.com, you got Bono back in there, even though it seems Bono says he was never there. And as for your disingenuous dread of typing about the “so-called cheating scandal” and how it is all a “distant memory” your website has written literally dozens of accounts concerning Kristen and mentioning the “cheating scandal”, several as recently as in the last two months. So don’t give us your fading memory and regrets about typing.  We are not buying it. And finally, imagining the “tenseness” of the situation is difficult to do when we realize that this whole story is a figment of your imagination.

Enter another journalistic paragon, mydaily.co.uk and their account, Eek! Kristen Stewart And Liberty Ross Go To Same Gig At Coachella Alert by celebrity writer Ellen Stewart on April 16.

Mega awks! Kristen Stewart , Robert Pattinson, and Liberty Ross apparently found themselves standing all in a row at the Jurassic 5 gig at Coachella over the weekend.

·         The trio were said to be spotted in too-close-for-comfort proximity at the hip-hop gig, and boy oh boy don’t we wish we were a fly on someone’s straw trilby for that encounter.

·         Apparently K-Stew and R-Patz rolled up early to watch the show and must have been more than mortified when the former wife of movie director Rupert Sanders, who Stewy had an affair with last year, showed her face.

·         According to The Sun, a source said, “Kristen has tried so hard to put everything from last year behind her – and she still feels incredibly guilty.”

·         Adding, “She and Rob had turned a massive corner in recent months and they were both there to enjoy themselves.

·         “The last thing she wanted to do was make Liberty feel uncomfortable, either. She looked pretty upset in the backstage bar later on that evening.” Uh oh, do we sense a few tears before tent-bedtime?

Wow.  Now they are all in a row.  How did Ellen Stewart figure that one out?  Maybe that fly on a wall that she stole from the Mr. Smith’s article was flying around Coachella and told her all about it.

And finally there is thestir.cafemom.com and their account,  Kristen Stewart Almost Runs Into Liberty Ross at Coachella — Awkward! By Adrianna Velez.

Guess who Kristen Stewart almost ran into at Coachella? [editor’s note: please,oh please tell us, we can’t wait.]

I’ll give you a hint: She’s skinny, dark-haired, and she probably considers KStew a total homewrecker. That’s right — according to a source, Kristen Stewart and Liberty Ross nearly had a close encounter at Coachella. And apparently it rattled poor Kristen.

Can you imagine, those two running into each other? What would they even say? “Oh, hey Liberty. You’re looking great. Good thing we both ditched Rupert, right? Heh heh …” There would be so much uncomfortable discomfort and awkward awkwardness, I think Kristen would probably die of an awkward attack right then and there.

Wow, sounds like maybe even the cafemom isn’t buying it:  “almost runs into”, “apparently rattled”, “can you imagine”, a Rupert joke, and “she would probably die.”  But don’t get your hopes up, the article continues:

So here’s how it went down. Kristen was hanging out with Robert Pattinson (duh) and their pal Katy Perry on one end of the festival. And then Liberty was partying with new boyfriend, record producer/mogul Jimmy Iovine, and their pal Bono over at the Diesel + Edun Studio Africa Event at Tally Horse Ranch (um, what?!?). But then Liberty wandered over to the Jurassic 5 concert, which is where Kristen was. And supposedly KStew freaked out like she’d just run into her ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend at the high school prom. Quoth a source:

Kristen has tried so hard to put everything from last year behind her — and she still feels incredibly guilty. She and Rob had turned a massive corner in recent months and they were both there to enjoy themselves. The last thing she wanted to do was make Liberty feel uncomfortable, either. She looked pretty upset in the backstage bar later on that evening.

Or maybe she was just disappointed that Jurassic 5 only played songs from the new album. Anyway, now it’s time for conspiracy theory number 812: Liberty Ross hired Kristen to break up her marriage so she could date someone infinitely cooler, like Jimmy Iovine. Because look — she’s dating Jimmy Iovine now. And maybe she went to Coachella partly so she could thank Kristen in person.

Okay, that was a fun little trip to Crazyland. I mean, Jimmy is cool, but he’s also 60, and you can only be so cool at 60 without actually being a Rolling Stone. Anyhoo …

Much ado about nothing! Chances are, Kristen and Liberty are going to bump into each other again sometime in their lives. And I hope they can both keep their heads when they do. Maybe they’ll toast each other’s health and laugh it all off.

What do you think Liberty would do to Kristen if she met her in person?

“Quite frankly my dear Adrianna, I don’t give a damn.” Yours is just another of hundreds of tabloid accounts regurgitating the same old BS that started with the fictitious account at The Sun. Because that is what tabloids do best, create a BS lie and then relentlessly repeat it in an attempt to make people stupid.  Which sadly you are often successful at.

Predicting Tabloid Garbage: Assessing Five Rob & Kristen Stories Waiting to Happen

by twilighter

Back on January 18, I pulled out my crystal ball and made few predictions for what BS stories we would inevitably hear from the celebrity gossip machine about Rob & Kristen between then and her birthday.  Given that it was Kristen’s birthday yesterday, it’s time to look back at the cow dung and see how I did.  Suffice to say, the celebrity gossip machine ran true to form.  They are always so predictable.

Back in January, I couldn’t  say with clarity what particular gossip rag (Hollywood Life, In Touch Magazine, Us Magazine, People Magazine, The Enquirer, Gossip Cop, The Mirror, etc, etc, etc) would break the fabricated offending stories, but that we could be sure of three things: 1). whomever did break one, it would be with unnamed, unidentified sources, 2.) the rest of the celebrity gossip machine would invariably re-report the story no matter how ridiculous, unsubstantiated, and obnoxious it was, and 3). there would millions of sheep out there in the blogsphere that would immediately believe it and go bah bah bah with the rest of the flock. And I gave you a big clue: Robert Pattinson’s trip to Australia to film Rover. Because every time Rob and Kristen are apart, some tabloid is going to take advantage of that fact to generate some BS.

So what stories did I predict would occur before Kristen’s birthday?

Story #1: It will be some version of how Kristen and Rubert Sanders have hooked up in Rob’s absence and how Kristen is continuing her cheating ways.  Perhaps in a car, maybe at a “romantic” overlook, or perhaps at her house.  The story will undoubtedly include old pictures of Rupert and Kristen, but will unlikely include new ones, as they would certainly be much more scrutinized this time than the last time.  And in spite of the lack of evidence to support the story, it will unleash a fresh wave of Kristen bashing and hatred in the blogsphere. And note, this fairytale is already actually in progress.

Did this BS story happen?  Sure did, multiple times. As I noted in January when I made these predictions, there were already unsubstantiated twitter claims at the time that Rupert and Kristen were seen together in Los Feliz.  And remember, virulent twitter chatter is a common source for tabloids to both start to fabricate and mine their BS story ideas.  As we have seen, anyone can go onto twitter and start some crap.

But Heat Magazine really got the bull rolling on this one on February 7th, by claiming that Kristen reached out to Rupert after Liberty Ross filed for divorce and Rob ended their relationship the previous month.  Via an unnamed, unidentified source.

“Kristen was feeling low – the lowest she’s ever felt – when Rob flew to Australia. She doesn’t have a huge circle of friends. Rob was the closest person to her. So, when he left, she reached out to Rupert to see if he was OK and suggested meeting for a coffee,” an insider purportedly told Heat Magazine.

“It seemed like Kristen was just blindly trying to do something to ease her pain. When Rob found out she’d contacted Rupert through a mutual friend, he was upset that Kristen would even go there. He wasn’t jealous, he was just incredulous. It seems like Kristen has no chance with him now.”

Heat continued, “Sanders was also said to be shocked by K-Stew’s actions, and decided not to meet up with her. It’s not thought that the 22-year-old was looking to reignite her romance with the 42-year-old film director, but was simply looking for someone to discuss her ongoing problems with.”

“Kristen feels helpless without Rob. The fact he has upped and left her has devastated her. She had thought she might be able to go to Australia for visits and keep their relationship going, but Rob found it difficult to trust her again and knew long distance would be too difficult.”

“Things had become irreparable. Kristen knew things were over between Rupert and Liberty too and it seemed like she just wanted to talk to someone who was going through the same thing as her,” the source added.

Yeah right, insert a cyber eye roll here. The funniest thing about this whole story was that even some of the other online tabloids had trouble keeping a straight face while regurgitating this story. For example see:  http://on.aol.com/video/kristen-stewart–lonely-enough-to-reach-out-to-rupert-sanders–517666770 .

In Touch Magazine joined the fray shortly thereafter in a February 9 web account when they provocatively posed the question whether Robert’s departure could be a “recipe for disaster”. But they didn’t seem to be on the same page with Heat Magazine.  Citing an unnamed Rupert pal as a source, this unnamed pal claimed that “It wouldn’t surprise me at all if Kristen and Rupert got back in touch, and it would be Rupert who reached out. He was infatuated with her.”

By February 9, Hollywood Life also was in the game, relying on their own unnamed “source close to Kristen”. Their source claimed that Kristen had not contacted Rupert at all as far as they knew since Kristen had “made a commitment to Rob that Rupert would no longer be a part of her life”.

As usual all the rest of the celebrity gossip machine jumped in, complete with re-reportings of all the nonsense, and Gossip Cop debunkings, all resulting in a continuous debate about whether she had or had not contacted him, or he had or had not tried to contact her, and whether they had actually met or not. And in spite of a complete lack of credible evidence for any of it, the stories fueled the typical Kristen bashing across the blogsphere. All you have to do is examine the comment threads to any of these ridiculous stories to see what I mean.

But have no fear, by February 28, Radaronline was reporting in a web article that Rupert had actually attempted to reach out but Kristen “doesn’t want anything to do with him,” again via, you guessed it, an unnamed unidentified source. This source claimed Rupert “texted her a number of times, however Kristen didn’t respond.” Continuing, the source claimed that “In truth, she regrets ever getting involved with Rupert, because of how much it hurt Robert and the amount of public backlash she was subjected to. Kristen doesn’t really know what’s going on with her and Robert at the moment, and she’s been left in limbo. Ideally, she would like things to go back to how they once were, but that’s proving a lot more difficult than she imagined. But when it comes to Rupert, that ship has sailed,” the source revealed.

Awe, how cute.  Complete with a Twilight literary reference. Insert another cyber eye roll here.

Story #2.  It will some version of Rob is out (probably at some wateringhole) with another mystery woman (probably a blond)(probably has big tits) and with whom he is having a (probably a romantic) wonderful evening.  There may or may not be equivocal photos to go along with the story. And again despite the lack of evidence to support it, it will unleash a fresh wave of Kristen bashing and hatred and assertions that she deserves it and how great it is that Rob has moved on to a new love.

Oh this one was just too easy to predict and of course the celebrity gossip machine delivered BS in spades.  Starting within five days of my prediction.

Rob had barely landed in Australia before the “blond bimbo” rumors started.  He was pictured with some Aussie girls at the airport on January 17^th in a Hollywood Life account that was released on January 23^rd.  The five girls pictured with him included three blondes, a two brunettes and a red head. But despite the fanfare, this was clearly just a fan pic.

The next one started with a January 27^th Hollywood Life story headline claiming that Rob was Hanging with a Sexy Blond At A Music Festival in Adelaide, Australia. Included was a fan pic of Rob and a young woman the caption identified as a “mystery blond.”  Despite the fact that the accompanying article identified the “mystery” woman as Alexandra Warner (no mystery there) and that she along with a couple other people had some fan pictures taken with Rob at the concert. This story took a later odd turn when Ms. Warner tweeted that Rob was stoned. In reality, they were no more hanging together than were Rob and all the rest of the people at the music festival.  But why let the facts get in the way of a sleezy headline?  Then again, I am surprised it didn’t read Rob Hangs with Dozens of Sexy Blonds at a Music Festival.

But like someone suffering from bulimia, Hollywood Life couldn’t stop itself.  In a February 5^th account, Robert Pattinson Hangs Out With Cute Blonde Fans in Australia, Rob was once again “hanging out”  with “cute’ (translation:buxom) blonde fans, complete with an accompanying photo. If “hanging out” that is means taking a picture, signing a dvd, an iphone cover, and “one of the girl’s arms” for a few minutes while he tried to have a smoke.

But don’t get the idea that Hollywood Life was alone. Oh no!  Maurice Cassidy of that venerable journalistic paragon, Celebrity Dirty Stinking Laundry whatever.com (yes we have featured them before in other articles on this blog) took the same story and led it with the following line: “Robert Pattinson has no plans on keeping it in his pants anytime soon, because this time he’s been spotted with TWO new girls who both happen to be blonds (again) and give us that facial expression of ‘ooh, that was good’—it doesn’t take a smart guy to figure out why the two hot blonds…have such big grins on their faces.”

Well rest assured, Cassidy is in fact dumb as a post but he somehow managed that leap of deductive brilliance.

And don’t get the idea that these two tabloid giants were alone in this story.  Of course the rest of the celebrity gossip machine jumped in including regurgitated reports, Gossip Cop debunkings, all resulting in a continuous debate about whether Rob was or was not actually doing these women, was or was not stoned and/or drunk, and did or did not ban Kristen from visiting him there in Australia.

Yep, you guessed it.  Time for another cyber eye roll.  It seems bulimia is a epidemic problem with the tabloid press.

Story #3  This will be some version of how Kristen has stepped out on Rob with someone other than Rupert Sanders.  That person will be male (probably over ten, or between 40 and 70 since she has a known penchant for older men [editor’s note: please note the heavy sarcasm here]) probably an actor or other celebrity (possibly Taylor Lautner, James Franko, or other some other Hollywood hunk) and who may likely be involved with one of Kristen’s projects in some way, shape, or form.  Again, despite the lack of supporting evidence, the blogsphere will once again erupt in “once a cheater, always a cheater chanting”, Kristen bashing and hatred, and  generalized chest thumping. Pay particular attention to whomever is cast as Kristen’s love interest in In Focus.

Oh, I really nailed this one including naming one of the principles. There are so many versions of this story that it is almost ridiculous. Everything from veiled articles about Kristen hanging out with Taylor Lautner, to having “hot chemistry with Jim Sturgiss, to flirting with Patrick Swarzenager, to hanging with Rob’s BFF Marcus Foster, to jumping in a mystery man’s arms. Almost to much bull to keep track of.

But even I lacked the imagination of the celebrity gossip machine by missing the Kristen is gay angle of stories that were based on Kristen being sprawled across Katy Perry and Selena Gomez’s laps at the Kid’s Choice Awards, being ever in company of her best friend Scott Taylor Compton, and  being newly chummy with Katy Perry’s assistant,Tamra Natisin.

Without burying you in too many deets, here are the essentials on these stories.  Hollywood Life claimed in a February 14^th account that an unnamed, unidentified source “close to Jim Sturgiss” told them exclusively that when Sturgiss came to town for pre-production meetings for The Big Shoe, Jim and Kristen seemed to have “major chemistry, they really seemed to click”. But the source noted that “Jim has a girlfriend and Kristen is back with Rob so it’s totally professional between them right now,” the source added.

Interestingly when Wetpaint.com picked up and regurgitated Hollywood Life’s story that same day, the ending of that quote mutated considerably. “Jim has a girlfriend and Kristen is back with Rob, so it’s totally professional between them right now, but that could change.  The movie is going to be very sexy and Jim is exactly Kristen’s type so who knows, anything could happen.”

Hmm.  A perceptive reader may be asking themselves at this point how an exclusive source to one gossip rag could end such a quote in two highly divergent ways.  Yep, insert the cyber eye roll once again.

It was a tabloid throw down from the beginning of Patrick Schwarzenegger story.  US Magazine, relying as usual on a unnamed, unidentified source merely reported on February 13^th that Kristen attended Taylor Lautner’s bowling alley birthday party and was “living it up” with no particular reference to Patrick other than he was also in attendance.

That same day Hollywood Life’s “exclusive source close to the situation” told them that “Kristen at no time throughout the night was interested in flirting with any guy in the place, she was just having fun with Taylor and his friends”.  But the source added that it looked like Patrick Schwarzenegger had moments throughout the night that looked like he was flirting with her on more than one occasion but that “They didn’t leave together and it seemed as if [Patrick] accepted his lost quest for Kristen.”

Star Magazine, a little late to the game reported on March 6th yet another variation and another source, claiming that “Kristen has been on the prowl” and was seen “flirting up a storm” with Schwarzenegger, “creeping on Patrick big time” at the party. Echoing Star’s report on the same day, Radaronline’s unnamed source upped the ante saying that people at the party told them “they should get a room because the energy between them was so hot.”

Yeah right, cue the eye roll.  Perceptive readers may once again be asking themselves how can so many different versions of the same event be possible? But remember, unbridled by the truth, the celebrity gossip machine is capable of fabricating just about anything it desires.

In the aftermath of the birthday party, Kristen joined Taylor for an afternoon of fun in the batting cases on March 14, but surprisingly did little to claim anything even close to a date.  I half expected to see it described as a double date given the picture below.

Kristen and Taylor on March 14

But that failed to materialize as the celebrity gossip machine seemed satisfied to characterize it as a friends day out.  The cynic in me says that they were just bank the episode for future use when they spin a more sinister version of the Taylor and Kristen relationship. Of course that didn’t stop plenty in the blogsphere and on twitter from  going there with suggestions that Tay.lor were or should become a couple.

The Kristen jumps into the arms of a “mystery man” story was screwed up from the beginning when some X17online paparazzi photos of Kristen’s night out the night before the Oscars on February 24^th went viral.  For a short time, even Hollywood Life was identifying him as Kristen’s new mystery man, before almost immediately having to backtrack when it realized the man was Rob and Kristen’s gay friend CJ Romero.  London’s Daily Mail didn’t do much better, identifying the guy as Marcus Foster, one of Rob’s BFF’s and a well known singer who used Kristen in his music video in 2011.  You would think a British gossip rag would know a home grown Brit, but again, the facts seemed to have escaped them.  Although, Marcus Foster was within the party of people that Kristen was with that night.

But another person in that entorage, Katy Perry’s assistant, Tamra Natisin, was to become a more immediate source of interest.  Kristen’s venture into lesbianism was proclaimed by that venerable paragon of journalistic excellence, The National Enquirer, in a March 12th article entitled: Is It True What They Are Saying About Kristen Stewart? [Editor’s note:  If tabloids are sayings it, it is highly unlikely to be true]. In the article, the Enquirer claimed that while Rob was away filming in Australia, Kristen found romantic comfort in Katy Perry’s assistant.

“Rob will hit the roof when he sees photos of Kristen and Tamra hanging out together,” predicted an insider. “It’s obvious to all of her friends that there’s a romance brewing between them.”

Quoting from the article: “On March 3, free-spirited Kristen, 22, raised eyebrows by lavishing attention on Tamra at Hollywood’s Hotel Cafe.” “They arrived together and spent the entire night talk­ing to each other, ignoring everyone around them,” revealed their insider. “Af­ter a few hours, they left together. Lately, Kristen and Tamra have been spending all their free time together.”

Meanwhile the Enquirer continued, 26-year-old Pattinson has reportedly banned Kristen from visiting him so he can concentrate on his film project.

But sources say she doesn’t seem to be missing him now that she’s found Tamra, who’s said to be very vocal about equality for same-sex couples and even attended a gay pride rally in the past year.”

Wow.  Yeah.  Insert eye roll again.

The Kristen is gay story probably would have really taken off after Kristen appeared at Tamra’s birthday party which was widely reported.  Only problem was Rob was there with her.

Rounding out the nonsense, late comer starMedia in a web article on March 29 didn’t even try to be subtle even though they didn’t even bother to refer to having a source: “After K-Stew and Rob failed in their intent to work things out in spite of Kristen’s indiscretion, the Twilight Saga actress decided she wanted to experience a new kind of love! Reportedly Kristen has been dating Katy Perry’s assistant Tamra Natisin, who is openly bisexual. They have been seen together several times, close to each other during parties and events.”

Yeah right.  My eye muscles are getting tired. But the tabloid press was tireless in regurgitating these stories and the blogsphere never tired of having a tirade over it.

I surprised they didn’t try to run with a Kristen/Katy Perry hookup after the following pictures from the KCA’s.

Story #4  This one will be some version of how Rob has hooked up with some female member of the cast or crew of Rover.  Or, because of the dearth of females roles in the cast, maybe they’ll just drag in an Australian actress (like Emily de Ravin, Emily Browning, Teresa Palmer, or Mia Wasikowaka even if they all happen to be in the United States).  Despite a lack of evidence supporting the story, the blogsphere will once erupt into “Rob is free at last” jubilation, Kristen is not good enough for him bashing, and related nonsense, blah, blah, blah.

Once again, I nailed it.  Within four days! I went to print on January 18^th and by January 22^nd, Look Magazine was reporting that Rob had made arrangements to meet up with Emilie de Ravin in Australia. Man, that was fast.

Their unidentified, unnamed source purportedly told them that  “Rob and Emilie get on ridiculously well. They stayed in touch after working together, and now Rob’s moving over to her home country their texts and calls have stepped up again. They’ve arranged to meet as soon as possible,”

“Kristen knows that Rob and Em are close and that must have been difficult for her.” the insider added.  “When he mentioned that they might meet up, Kristen flipped. This tipped her over the edge and in turn seems to have made Rob realize their relationship was never going to go back to how it was.”

Yeah, right.  Cue the eye roll, the regurgitation reflex, and the endless chatter on the blogsphere.

Story #5  This one is easy.  Kristen will undoubtedly go to Australia sometime during Rob’s shoot there for Rover although evidence of her visit will be minimal but obvious.  The blogsphere will again erupt into an endless debate about whether she went there because: 1). she was once again pregnant, 2). they had once again reconciled or broke up, 3). they both wanted to go house hunting because they love it there in Australia and have an uncontrollable desire to buy houses, 4). its all for PR, 5). she was was reconnecting with her Australian roots, and/or 6.) Rob was missing her arm pits.  Despite a +10,000 mile +twenty hours flight to get there many will reject the notion that she loves him and just wanted to spend some time with him.

As it turned out, I struck out on this one.  Hey nobody’s perfect. Poor research on my part.  I didn’t realize just how horrid and nasty the middle of no-where is, hundreds of miles from Adelaide. If I had been Rob, I wouldn’t have wanted Kristen to join me either. And after all, I’m sure Kristen didn’t want to crimp Rob’s “style” with all the buxom blondes.  Yeah I’m inserting the eye roll here this time.

But even a no-story was the object of continuous tabloid and blogsphere debate.  Had they split, or would Rob return to her in LA?  Would he skip LA and go directly to London or did he plan an ocean sailing cruise without her.  Was the “trial separation” a breather or was it already over, kept quiet just to sell dvd’s.

Blah. Blah. Blah.  Well we know what happened when he got back.  But that didn’t stop the tabloids and the blogsphere from trying to obscure the truth.

In Conclusion

So there you have it. [Five] Rob & Kristen Stories Waiting to Happen. I think I did pretty well if I say so myself.  And thanks to all of you to help spot these many stories. And there are so many more we didn’t even touch on. And true to form we observed the three basic principles about such tabloid gossip stories over and over again:

1.  They are invariably based on an unnamed, unidentified source.

2. Once released, the content will be regurgitated over and over again by the rest of the celebrity gossip machine even as the story mutates, and

3. There are millions of people who will believe them and go into histrionics even if they aren’t supported by a shred of credible evidence.

By Rob’s birthday I’ll return and discuss my second stab at the crystal ball.  “Seven More BS Rob & Kristen Stories Waiting to Happen.”  You can find these predictions in the blog below.  And I am already doing pretty well on that one to.  In the meantime I need to keep monitoring the web and cataloging those stories.  And rest my eye muscles before my eyes roll right out of my head.